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#367237 - 03/19/08 01:04 AM Marijuana use by husband / legal implications
ms_keyt Offline
recently joined

Registered: 03/15/08
Posts: 4
Loc: Deep South
What are the legal implications of my husband's using pot in divorce or separation situations, or in the case that I choose to remain with him if he gets help? I believe he is addicted (no, I don't subscribe to the school of thought that pot is not addictive). Why? Because he can't go for more than 48 hours without it. Because he leaves and doesn't spend time with me and our baby in order to go smoke it. Because he defends his right to smoke it as if he were defending his own mother from a murderer. Because he couldn't quit if he wanted to.

We have a 5-month-old baby. I asked him to quit smoking both cigarettes and pot when we first met and he promised he would "eventually". We had a surprise pregnancy and I asked him to quit again. He said he would. He never even cut back even though. I trusted he would before the baby came. He still hasn't and thinks the government is bringing pot and drugs into this country in order to "keep people down". (So, what if they are, that's all the more reason not to participate by smoking the stupid stuff. He is seriously delusional about pot and makes all the tired, hippy-dippy arguments about why it's really OK and "never hurt anyone" (uh, yeah, right) and isn't addictive.
Enough explanation. He has me so harried and harrassed by his meanness and cruelty when he's NOT high (BECAUSE he's not high) and his not helping around the house that I am not thinking straight. Our baby wakes up in the middle of the night and guess who looks after her all night -- the responsible one (that would be me). So I am exhausted and basically without a partner. He doesn't smoke it in our house, but he goes to bis buddy's house to do it and I think he has it somewhere in his car and goes off driving to smoke it sometimes. :mad:

So, I think I am going to ask him to leave the household and establish separation agreement with counseling and if that doesn't work I'll proceed with divorce before our baby is old enough to have it scar her emotionally. The way things are going, I doubt any of this will work but I have to know I did everything in my power to make it work before filing for the big D.
Bidden or not bidden, God is present.

#367238 - 03/19/08 03:17 AM Re: Marijuana use by husband / legal implications [Re: ms_keyt]
Pops_IL_CP_Dad Offline

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 406
Loc: Illinois
Legal Implications -- Aside from the fact that if he gets caught buying it or using it?

You have to be very cautious here. Trying to use this in court could really backfire on YOU. Why? You knew he was a user when you married him, when you got pregnant, when you had a baby, and since then.

Even if you had solid evidence of his use -- besides your testimony -- the first question you would be asked is if you knew about this when you married him.... And it would go downhill from there.

I assume you would want sole custody based on his drug use. So, you file for divorce and custody. You have to give reasons for your wish to have sole custody. You write "drug use". And this information is sent to your husband and his attorney.

They will do everything they can to discredit you, saying you condoned it.

You NEED to discuss this with an attorney to make sure you proceed correctly, with just enough of the right information revealed to the other side, and without tipping your hand.

It might be wisest to NOT say anything to him until after you talk to an attorney. If you ask him to leave, and he does, you pretty much shoot yourself in the foot and will lose opportunities to build up plenty of evidence regarding this.
Focus on what is legally relevant, not morally indignant or petty.


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