This is a very long and horrible story. I know this may take a few moments to get out, but I have to begin the process of talking about this with people because I have been so extremely depressed lately - as well as lost.
I met my wife in March of 2006 in Palm Springs. She had a daughter that was 8 years old at the time, and I really fell in love with the both of them very quickly. The daughter (she told me) was from a previous marriage where the husband left her while pregnant and never sought them out again...I felt sorry for her. I even moved in with my wife for about a few months when we first met, but I had permanent residence in Georgia that I wanted/needed to get back to. My wife offered to move (after only knowing each other for 3 months) to Georgia so that I would not have to be away from my family - since she is estranged from all but 1 of her other family members. I guess I was "caught up" and let her and the daughter move in with me. After only 5-6 more months, I asked her to marry me.
During this period of time, I noticed that my wife was showing more and more signs of being VERY controlling (to the point of creating my 'bedtimes'), and she began to treat me like a child with lectures every day. She was this way to her daughter as well, and I resented her many times for it...I continue to believe that how she treats her daughter is VERY close to psychological/emotional abuse - Her restrictions get outrageous. Well, I began to take more and more from my wife emotionally until I got to a point where I was in tears 4 days a week from her verbal attacks and rants. I don't know how I let my wife talk me into having a child (since I began to have concerns about her mental stability at this point), but she did. She got pregnant very early this year.
We had some minor problems that were usual during her pregnancy, and her accusations and verbal assaults got worse at this point. It got so bad that she asked me to move to my parents' house. I respected her because she said "my anger/stress would KILL the baby." - which of course I was NEVER angry or threatening. Before long, she began to act more and more strange bringing accusations out of nowehere that I knew nothing about. She finally told me to come over one day to talk. It was there that she told me, "I am moving back to Palm Springs to have this baby with or without you...you can't change my mind. If you want part of the child's life, you will have to come as well." Of course my whole life was centered in Georgia, and I even consulted an attorney at this point who made me aware that I had no legal rights to "keep" her in Georgia. So she kept her word and took her daughter while pregnant back across the country to leave me to take care of everything where she had been living...that's a whole other story.
Well, I dropped EVERYTHING and took care of the house where we had previously been living and got to California after a month of wrapping up MANY loose ends. We had agreed to live separately for a short trial period to undergo some marriage counseling until I moved in with her. She found a place for me to live, and that is where I am at now. Well...after I moved here, she would talk to me less in less over a 7-day period (5 conversations to ZERO)...I went 3 days without hearing from her, and I got concerned. She then accused my phone calls as being harrassing her and (again) "KILLING the baby."
At this point, I got a private investigator because I wanted to know more about what happened with her first marriage/daughter...She found an e-mail address that I was using to correspond with him, and she somehow got into it and went crazy with my online accounts. She began to purchase things with my debit card, she created a site for me on reunion.com and stopped ALL communication...She even accessed my online banking site. She is very good with computers, etc...
The next day I got served with papers asking for a "legal separation" and allllllll kinds of money and assets from me. I was so caught off guard that I didn't know what to think. Here I am in a strange place (away from all support - friends and family) and my wife has simply gone from a little abusive to vengeful and crazy. The private investigator concluded that it was HER that left her first husband, and she has never let him get in touch with her...she's changed addresses, etc.. I found no criminal background, but I would like to know more of her childhood which she claims was extrememly abusive.
I am now in Palm Springs and cannot talk to my step-daughter. My wife will not communicate with me. I came allll the way here to be a good father (even during pregnency). I left behind so much, and now she has done this to me...
Does anyone have any suggestions other than simply seeking legal counsel because I have been, and will continue, to do that? I am now a broken man in a strange place worried that my wife will make up some stories about me to try and gain sole custody. I was told by my wife's ex-husband's mother that her son used to complain that he felt "emotionally abused" by her and that he felt she only wanted to get pregnant then leave...There is obviously a trend, and I had no idea that women out there could be so predatory on nice guys like me. I am simply venting, but this is all true, and I know that I need to be divorced from her anyway - she was causing severe emotional distress with me during the late relationship, but I don't know what she will be capable of doing with the baby that is mine...I will NOT have her disappear on me with the child, but I feel it coming. Could that even be possible?