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#443075 - 09/30/08 06:25 PM I am trying to get custody of my granddaughter
hammer63 Offline
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Registered: 09/30/08
Posts: 15
She is eleven years old, and we have had her for those eleven years. Her mother was almost 18 when she was born, and she lived with us for three years after her birth. When she moved out she took her daughter with her, but she returned her to us after a week saying she couldn't do anything with her because she was crying all the time. At this time we learned that our daughter was using meth, and she had numerous men "friends". Our daughter has been in and out of jail over 30 times. She has been arrested for everything from worthless checks, felony impersonation, child endangerment, harrassment, public drunk...etc the list goes on and on. Our granddaughter has no fathers name on her birth certificate. We assume we know who the father is and he was told after she was concieved yet he chose to run, and she has never met him. We found out that our daughter had contacted him tring to get him to pay child support under the table without going to court, and if he did then she would allow him to visit with my granddaughter every other weekend. My daughter has held this child over our heads for years using tactics such as you have no rights as grandparents, and if you don't give me X amount of dollars I will remove her from your home and you will never see her again. She has never supported her in any way with the exception of a gift every once in a while. SO we would hand out the money so that we would know our granddaughter was safe and cared for. We became tired of this ritual and finally decided to file for custody. We have been awarded temp. custody, and the mother hasn't been served yet. We filed about a month ago. Since that time she has been arrested for violation of Probation, public drunk, and was transported to another jail for unpaid fines on the felony impersonation. Why they didn't serve the custody papers is beyond me. The clerk said they had misplaced them, but since then they have located them. She talks a big game, and says that when she goes to court the judge will give her child back, and we will never see our granddaughter again. She has told our granddaughter this, and she is pitiful. She is worried all the time, and she says that if she has to live with her mother that she will run away. I have begged her not to do that. We have her in counselling, but it doesn't seem to help. My daughter has been married three times and has two other children who doesn't live with her all the time. She has called all her ex's and asked them to go to court with her and testify that our granddaughter lived with them while they were married, All of them but one has agreed to do this. Their histories are drug dealers etc... Our family, friends, and her teachers know where she has lived and who has cared for her. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, and I am wondering if anyone else out there has been awarded custody of their grandchildren under similar circumstances. We live in TN, and I feel we have a good lawyer, but we have also been told that it is very hard to get custody from a mother regardless of the circumstances. I am worried to say the least.

#443076 - 11/02/08 02:42 AM Re: I am trying to get custody of my granddaughter [Re: hammer63]
clcinwv Offline
recently joined

Registered: 11/02/08
Posts: 5
I don't know the laws in TN, but from what you have said it seems pretty obvious that the mother is unstable. Her history of unlawful offenses should be enough to prove her unfit. You should be documenting as much as possible. Make a timeline of events. If you've cared for the child for most of her life, thus far, then you should have a good chance of winning. It may be valuable to have the child make a statement to the judge of her wishes. If she can recall certain events, that may be helpful also. I live in WV and this is all advice I have heard before. The key is proving her unfit.

#443077 - 08/12/11 07:37 PM Re: I am trying to get custody of my granddaughter [Re: clcinwv]
maimai Offline

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Registered: 08/12/11
Posts: 10
Document everything, make sure people see you parenting, then relax. She is not about to take that poor child on. It is obvious that she does not think she can get her or she would have.

I am also a grandmother raising my daughter's 5 yo since birth. When the parents start up with custody threats, I just ignore them. I tell them I don't have time for all that noise I am too busy raising a wonderful little boy. I usually don't hear anything else for a year.

Tell your girl to relax and that you will fight any attempts but she will not be taken.


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