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#44719 - 11/17/05 07:37 PM Admission of Adultery????
overanddone Offline
recently joined

Registered: 05/31/05
Posts: 10
Just wondering...if I serve my stbx with a complaint for divorce on the grounds of adultery and he files his answer admitting the allegation, does this speed the divorce along and does it affect his right to equitable distribution?

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#44720 - 11/17/05 07:39 PM Re: Admission of Adultery???? [Re: overanddone]
Rebecca5 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 11697
Loc: Down home.
Depends on where you live.

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#44721 - 11/17/05 07:40 PM Re: Admission of Adultery???? [Re: Rebecca5]
overanddone Offline
recently joined

Registered: 05/31/05
Posts: 10
Ooops...sorry. I live in NJ.

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#44722 - 11/17/05 07:46 PM Re: Admission of Adultery???? [Re: overanddone]
Rebecca5 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 11697
Loc: Down home.
Usually....filing on some kind of grounds actually slows the process, rather than speeding it up. If your STBX stipulates to the adultery, it may go quickly...but that doesn't happen very often.

NJ is an "equitable distribution" state which means that "A spouse's separate property acquired before a marriage is retained by that spouse. All of the spouse's other property (except that acquired by gift and inheritance) is divided equitably."

The factors used to divide the property are: "(1) the value of each spouse's marital property; (2) the value of the separate property of the spouses; (3) the length of the marriage; (4) the age and health of the spouses; (5) the amount and sources of income of the spouses; (6) the liabilities and needs of each spouse and the opportunity of each for further acquisition of capital assets and income; (7) the standard of living established during the marriage; (8) how and by whom the property was acquired; (9) the tax consequences to each spouse; (10) the contribution of each spouse to the acquisition of the marital property, including the contribution of each spouse as homemaker; (11) the economic circumstances of each spouse at the time the division of property is to become effective; (12) any written agreement between the spouses; (13) the income and earning capacity of the spouses; (14) the educational background, training, and employment skills of the spouses; (15) any custodial responsibilities; (16) the length of absence from the job market; (17) the time and expense necessary to enable the spouse to acquire sufficient education or training to enable the spouse to become self-supporting at a standard of living reasonably comparable to that enjoyed during the marriage; (18) the need for the parent with custody of any children to own or occupy the marital residence; (19) the need to create a trust fund for the future medical or educational needs of a spouse or children; and (20) any other factor necessary to do equity and justice between the spouses."

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#44723 - 11/17/05 07:56 PM Re: Admission of Adultery???? [Re: overanddone]
sandflea Offline
addict

Registered: 09/08/05
Posts: 447
Loc: norfolk, Virginia
My wife was having an affair. I had our lawyer put down "unhappy differences". Sped things up considerably.

If you can find it in you - take the high road. You'll be soooo proud of yourself down the road. So will everyone else. And your cheating spouse? Speechless.

- SF
_________________________
Beaches, Bluegrass, Bach, Beer, Bodhisattva, Blisters, Bikes, Boats, Bhujangasana and Bayer

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#44724 - 11/17/05 08:09 PM Re: Admission of Adultery???? [Re: overanddone]
Lyn Offline
journeyman

Registered: 06/04/05
Posts: 95
Loc: NJ
Believe filing with grounds, adultery being one of them, can hasten the process in NJ...it negates the required 18 month separation necessary for filing 'no fault'. If you file for grounds and your spouse doesn't contest or counter file, the divorce can be a done deal pretty quickly. It probably will not impact property division or any support issues, but the door is left open for that possibility under the very general consideration #20. The divorce can also be granted prior to final agreement on property though that isn't generally done.

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#44725 - 11/17/05 08:33 PM Re: Admission of Adultery???? [Re: Lyn]
overanddone Offline
recently joined

Registered: 05/31/05
Posts: 10
I'm wondering if he'll admit the adultery in his answer or will he file a counterclaim. If he denies the adultery charge and files a counterclaim I'm guessing it will take longer.

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#44726 - 11/17/05 08:42 PM Re: Admission of Adultery???? [Re: overanddone]
Rebecca5 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 11697
Loc: Down home.
That's kind of what I was trying to say....

If he stipulates to the adultery, things would go quickly.....if he files a counterclaim, 18 months might not sound too bad.

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#44727 - 11/17/05 08:52 PM Re: Admission of Adultery???? [Re: Rebecca5]
sandflea Offline
addict

Registered: 09/08/05
Posts: 447
Loc: norfolk, Virginia
I'm pretty sure grounds for divorce can be anything. I mean, if you have proof, that's one thing. But still, it's gonna be a long struggle if you put that out there. It may turn into a pride issue. Does he know that you know? How did you find out?

Best of luck - and sorry for the dayum BS. There are other guys out there - many who are honest and true.
_________________________
Beaches, Bluegrass, Bach, Beer, Bodhisattva, Blisters, Bikes, Boats, Bhujangasana and Bayer

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#44728 - 11/17/05 09:45 PM I filed a fault divorce [Re: sandflea]
Dee78 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/05
Posts: 11820
Loc: TN
Mine was that he made living conditions incohabitable (or something like that) Ex filed a counter basically saying "she made me do it" in legal terms. It was a long drawn out process but I don't think that the actually filing made it longer but the fact that he refused to settle out of court.

I would recommend discussing it with him, try to come to an agreement. If you can't, then file irreconcilable difference. It will be more amicable and he won't feel like he's on the defense from the start.

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