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#447954 - 10/13/08 08:32 PM Re: I Want A Divorce, But Not Sure How To Proceed [Re: itsok2bquiet]
Gestalt Offline
member

Registered: 10/10/08
Posts: 172
Loc: Wisconsin
Good Luck- remember you are entitled to the marital home as well. Is it possible for you and the children to keep the home or do you think that may be a sticking point for him?
_________________________
The most decisive actions of our life ... are most often unconsidered actions.

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#447955 - 10/13/08 09:07 PM Re: I Want A Divorce, But Not Sure How To Proceed [Re: Gestalt]
itsok2bquiet Offline
recently joined

Registered: 10/13/08
Posts: 14
Gestalt I don't want it. If he handed it to me on a plate, I wouldn't want it. Want to start over in my own space, with my own vibe....no negative. Hopefully he won't act up too much because there is a lot I don't want. Just need him to let go.


Edited by itsok2bquiet (10/13/08 09:09 PM)

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#447956 - 10/13/08 09:09 PM Re: I Want A Divorce, But Not Sure How To Proceed [Re: itsok2bquiet]
Gestalt Offline
member

Registered: 10/10/08
Posts: 172
Loc: Wisconsin
Ok, I just wanted to put that out there.
_________________________
The most decisive actions of our life ... are most often unconsidered actions.

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#447957 - 10/13/08 09:10 PM Re: I Want A Divorce, But Not Sure How To Proceed [Re: Gestalt]
itsok2bquiet Offline
recently joined

Registered: 10/13/08
Posts: 14
Thank you...

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#447958 - 10/13/08 11:52 PM Re: I Want A Divorce, But Not Sure How To Proceed [Re: itsok2bquiet]
jaiye Offline
old hand

Registered: 10/28/05
Posts: 860
One thing that no one has mentioned is that ANY savings no matter whose name it is in is considered to be a marital asset if it was earned and saved during the marriage and are subject to division as such. Whether your financial s are together or not they are still marital so you need handle things carefully. I would have a consult with an attorney before you do anything.

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#447959 - 10/14/08 12:16 AM Re: I Want A Divorce, But Not Sure How To Proceed [Re: jaiye]
mommyof9 Offline
old hand

Registered: 10/04/08
Posts: 1176
That could get tricky, because even if they aren't "joint" accounts, they are still "marital assets".

You may need to go after the equity in his house AND his pension, just to make sure it comes out fair.

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#447960 - 10/14/08 04:03 AM Re: I Want A Divorce, But Not Sure How To Proceed [Re: mommyof9]
DeeCee Offline
addict

Registered: 10/08/07
Posts: 420
Sorry guys for chiming in here...but even if you don't have joint accounts that's marital assets?? hmm. during my hearing with my stbx, his attorney made sure too ask if we ever had a joint account. I answered honestly and said no..but I assumed that meant it wasn't a joint asset.

To itsok2bquiet ...you and your husband don't have 401Ks or mutual funds..? also why wouldn't you seek what you are entitled to...I mean I gather you aren't out to bankrupt your husband but you are entitled to receiving a fair share...put it away for a nest egg or money for your grandkids.


Edited by DeeCee (10/14/08 04:03 AM)

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#447961 - 10/14/08 05:42 PM Re: I Want A Divorce, But Not Sure How To Proceed [Re: DeeCee]
itsok2bquiet Offline
recently joined

Registered: 10/13/08
Posts: 14
To answer the last three posts, the accounts we had together (credit cards) have been closed for over 10 years. Other than that, nothing. I do plan on talking to an attorney before doing anything. I have an inheritance and don't need or want the equity in the condo. I know some are saying "why?", but I just don't. As for his pension, I could go there but that's something I'd like to use as a bargaining chip if he wants to make things difficult.

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#447962 - 10/14/08 06:21 PM Re: I Want A Divorce, But Not Sure How To Proceed [Re: itsok2bquiet]
Borunner20 Offline
recently joined

Registered: 10/14/08
Posts: 2
You sound like a very smart, well organized individual. I am the opposite, lol I'm contemplating divorce but don't know how to tell my spouse. I know it took you sometime to get to where you're strong enough mentally and emotionally to move forward. Stay strong as I will and push through these times to better days ahead with your kids. GL!


Edited by Borunner20 (10/14/08 06:27 PM)

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#447963 - 10/14/08 06:34 PM Re: I Want A Divorce, But Not Sure How To Proceed [Re: Borunner20]
itsok2bquiet Offline
recently joined

Registered: 10/13/08
Posts: 14
Thank you Borunner20!

I'd like to try and handle it the best way I can. Hopefully it will work out okay - I may be a bit naive about things right now. The hard part is having to attempt to sit down and tell him (actually considering writing a letter but that's a bit sissy-like...LOL). It's been something that I've wanted for quite sometime but it's finally coming to a head. Somethings happened over the past couple of years that brought about a change in me; I came out of my shell that I allowed him to drive me into.

I am hoping the best for you as well....

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