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#447964 - 10/14/08 06:42 PM Re: I Want A Divorce, But Not Sure How To Proceed [Re: itsok2bquiet]
mommyof9 Offline
old hand

Registered: 10/04/08
Posts: 1176
Coming out of the shell is an awesome (though painful) experience! Good for you!

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#447965 - 10/14/08 06:43 PM Re: I Want A Divorce, But Not Sure How To Proceed [Re: Borunner20]
Spicymomma72 Offline
recently joined

Registered: 10/03/08
Posts: 5
Loc: Chicago, IL
Yes it is. Speak your mind. As they say, it'll set you free, LOL. Speak with an atty or even call down to your local courthouse. In most states, you can get free legal advice via legal aid so you know your rights and what you can and can't do in this particular situation. Do your homework! I did research and found that a divorce doesn't have to be a terrible event. My spouse and I agreed to disagree but we did agree to get a divorce. Because both parties agreed, it was so much easier when it came to the type of divorce we could get. We were able to do ours with an online company, split everything in writing, even who the kids would live with and when they would visit etc..We split finances, pensions you name it. Nothing got messy and we are now divorced and living separate lives. Do research and don't be afraid. You Go Girl! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


Edited by Spicymomma72 (10/14/08 06:47 PM)
_________________________
~Andrea~ Don't Be Afraid, Do It Yourself! www.divorce4her.com

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#447966 - 10/14/08 08:53 PM Re: I Want A Divorce, But Not Sure How To Proceed [Re: Spicymomma72]
mommyof9 Offline
old hand

Registered: 10/04/08
Posts: 1176
Research & Document, my two favorite words!!!

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#447967 - 10/14/08 11:21 PM Re: I Want A Divorce, But Not Sure How To Proceed [Re: mommyof9]
DeeCee Offline
addict

Registered: 10/08/07
Posts: 420
By any chance will your husband be inclined to seek out your inheritance? I mean do you make less money than him, and will he seek alimony from you?
I mean you may be the first one here who is able to have an amiable skid mark free divorce!

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#447968 - 10/14/08 11:25 PM Re: I Want A Divorce, But Not Sure How To Proceed [Re: DeeCee]
itsok2bquiet Offline
recently joined

Registered: 10/13/08
Posts: 14
No he shouldn't and I've talked to the attorney on how to protect myself further. I plan on giving him something and paying certain bills in the house off/to "zero" balance. We run about neck and neck with salaries buy he makes more.

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#447969 - 10/15/08 11:40 AM Re: I Want A Divorce, But Not Sure How To Proceed [Re: itsok2bquiet]
Yes_Dad Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 08/23/08
Posts: 7406
Quote:
The kids are going with me. Thing is he hasn't participated, drinks and is verbal. Okay I understand what your saying - so I should rent a place for now instead of purchasing. A divorce takes about six months to be finalized right? My aunt left me an inheritance - she knew I had wanted to leave for a few years. I've talked to an attorney about how to protect myself/inheritance, so I know how to handle that part.


Feeling a little over confident, aren't we....

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#447970 - 10/15/08 11:43 AM Re: I Want A Divorce, But Not Sure How To Proceed [Re: itsok2bquiet]
Yes_Dad Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 08/23/08
Posts: 7406
Quote:
No he shouldn't and I've talked to the attorney on how to protect myself further. I plan on giving him something and paying certain bills in the house off/to "zero" balance. We run about neck and neck with salaries buy he makes more.


"You" plan. More like the judge will plan it for you.

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#447971 - 10/15/08 11:45 AM Re: I Want A Divorce, But Not Sure How To Proceed [Re: Spicymomma72]
Yes_Dad Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 08/23/08
Posts: 7406
Quote:
Yes it is. Speak your mind. As they say, it'll set you free, LOL.


In 49 years, I have never heard that saying. I believe it's "the truth will set you free"

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#447972 - 10/15/08 12:36 PM Re: I Want A Divorce, But Not Sure How To Proceed [Re: Yes_Dad]
DeeCee Offline
addict

Registered: 10/08/07
Posts: 420
Here's something I have learned...many of us have learned. Unless both people sit down and are BOTH amiable....There is no such thing as a fast easy easy breezy divorce.
Second thing....regardless what your lawyer says: It will not be quick and fast. it looks like a simple thing to do do, just walk away and ask for nothing...BUT once lawyers get involved...suddenly the divorce has grown into a money pit monster.
I suppose you can do it yourself and save yourself that headache but if he gets an attorney and he wants sole custody..now you've got a rocky situation. Why would he just hand over full custody of the kids to you? That would mean he has to pay child support to you, he may want custody and want you to pay...because before removing your kids from their familiar home environment to a rented apartment (that you haven't rented yet..) why should their lives be in an upheaval? Those are things to consider.

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#447973 - 10/15/08 01:25 PM Re: I Want A Divorce, But Not Sure How To Proceed [Re: DeeCee]
itsok2bquiet Offline
recently joined

Registered: 10/13/08
Posts: 14
@ Yesdad - Maybe I am "confident" as you stated because I know he doesn't want to take care of them. He most certainly didn't want to when we left 14 years ago and I only asked for $300 per month support. Which took me 4 months and a threat to get. He hasn't been real big on taking care of them over the years, with me having to "handle" a lot of things pertaining to them (financially). I can only go by what he's shown me.

You seem a be sarcastic in responses and not sure if it's because of what you went through or something else. I agree with DeeCee about both being willing to sit down and I am hoping that we can be done.

While I may be naive about somethings going into a divorce, quick and easy doesn't come into play but yes I'd like to attempt to keep it to a minimum if possible. Won't know until I get to that bridge.

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