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#468856 - 12/10/08 09:59 AM Military divorce, pretty ugly, big debt.
Screwed Offline
recently joined

Registered: 12/10/08
Posts: 10
I think this one might take the cake for messed up marriage, but this is my story. I'm heavily considering divorce, and I'm trying to protect myself from the wrath of my vindictive, childish, and mentally unstable "wife".

I married young. At the age of 19. We've been together for two and a half years, and about six years before the marriage.

She was a normal girl, a few drug problems here and there, maybe a little volatile, but pretty sweet, and cared a lot for me. I left for the military a year before we got married, six months after she and her at-the-time boyfriend found out she was pregnant. She had the child, against his wishes, and I got very involved in her child's life. She and I ended up getting engaged nine months after her child was born, and we rush-jobbed a marriage. After all, we knew each other so well, right?

Well, everything went alright, she took out a loan to go to school, and then her mother got ill. Her mother had cancer, went into remission, and suddenly passed away. This was a big hit for both of us, and I was three thousand miles away, seeing how the child custody case went very sour, and she opted to not move with me, as it would be unfair for my stepdaughter, and her father (who barely pays any child support and skips visitations).

She failed out of school, and without my permission, took out another loan to go back. She failed again, due to poor attendance and lack of focus. She has recently, and this time with my knowlege, and against my wishes, taken out a third loan to attend beautician's school.

Now, this all occurred in a span of two years. The problems really began six months ago. I make good money, and yet, she cannot manage the finances. She took out three loans, and built up decent credit --unfortunately, she payed the loans instead of her rent recently, and now has an eviction notice sitting on her door. Luckily, the apartment was in her name, and not mine, as I saw her struggles with the finances, and removed her power of attorney, and began giving her an allowance.

I've been watching this go downhill for six months, and I feel like I've been cheated. She and I agreed that she'd go to school and get an education, I couldn't be married to a futureless woman. She had convinced me that she would move with me, but later, she told me she couldn't. When I confronted her that Active Duty military was an exception to the rule, she confided that she just couldn't bear to leave her sickly mother. After she passed away, and was mentally unfit to take care of herself, I offered to move her out with me, and it was because of the biological father, and not because she couldn't.

I've gotten to cohabitate with her for a single period of two weeks, a second period of two weeks, and last year, a single period of thirty days. I feel that this is not just grounds for a divorce, but an anulment.

Second, she took out her school loans without my agreement, or knowledge, and borrowed a lot of money from her father without even my input.

I've provided, approximately $70,000 to her over the last two and a half years of regular income, and subsided on a mere $6,000 for the last two and a half years. I've been giving her over 90% of my paychecks, and at one point, she went and spent a $10,000 bonus that I had signed for (before we got married) and put away into savings so that I would be able to put my stepdaughter through college, paying off her loans and bills (again, without my permission).

My question, is do I:

1) Qualify for an annulment, as I clearly have been deceived not once, but multiple times.
2) Do I have to file it in Kansas, or California, if we were married in California, but reside in Kansas?
3) Will she be able to get even with me via alimony, or by the courts mandating me to pay for her debt?
4) Will she be able to use her child as leverage against me?

Thanks for any insight into this matter, but I'm pretty sure I'm


#468857 - 12/10/08 10:11 AM Re: Military divorce, pretty ugly, big debt. [Re: Screwed]
Screwed Offline
recently joined

Registered: 12/10/08
Posts: 10
I did find something useful in the California Annulment laws, apparently I do have grounds for an Annulment, I just really wonder if it applies in Kansas, or if I can file it in California...

"As between married persons, [b]a concealed intent not to live with the other spouse[/b], not to engage in sexual relations with the other spouse, or not to have children despite a promise to the contrary supports a judgment of nullity on the ground of fraud."

Obviously, I was in the dark to the fact that she would not live with me, and only later revealed her intent not to...

Maybe I've got some hope yet for undoing the damage she's about to do to my life.


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