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#477848 - 01/12/09 03:19 PM 14 year old wants to live with dad
concerned3 Offline
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Registered: 01/12/09
Posts: 5
I have had custody of my daughter for 3 years now. She will be 14 in a few weeks and she has made the comment she wants to live with her dad. Her dad can not stay stable in a home or with a job and is 35 with a pregnant 18 year old girlfriend. He can not pay child support. He is $8,200 behind. Can she choose and just walk out the door and go or does she have to go before a judge? We live in GA & I have the best lawyer but since times are hard right now, would not be able to pay his $5,000 retainer fee that he requires. Can someone help with some advice?

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#477849 - 11/04/09 01:51 AM Re: 14 year old wants to live with dad [Re: concerned3]
Shyn Offline

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Registered: 11/02/09
Posts: 10
If I were you, I would go the the court library, print the forms myself and fill them out if this goes to court. If you have custody, it does not matter what she wants. She is 14, and just wants to live with dad because she knows there is no structure. You have to put your foot down and if she leaves, I would call the police and then if it gets out of hand, take her to counseling and you can get the Juvenille law enforcement involved if you have to. I hope this helps!

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#477850 - 01/10/10 02:08 AM Re: 14 year old wants to live with dad [Re: concerned3]
bettyboo Offline

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Registered: 01/09/10
Posts: 20
In the state of GA the child "does" have say in where they want to live, my daughter (NK) was 14 when she signed the document to no longer live with her father(we had joint custody) & me have sole custody. Not only did she choose who to live with the judge left visits up to her whenever she wanted to. I do live in GA & we both had good lawyers the judge had my daughter (NK) get on the stand to prove her matuirty to be able to decide such a thing & my ex was not happy of this change in custody & said well her Mom is no good & NK will end up pregnant or in trouble the judge said sorry but by the law i have no choice because NK signed the paper, here we are years later NK is not pregnant & has straight A's now & not been in trouble. My ex said the same thing of me that i had no structure & NK has done better with me then she had with him & i had structure he just didnt know me very well. He said i would let her get away with everything actually i believe i am stricter then he is. If this happened to me & custody was changed to my ex having sole then i'd make the best of it & ask for the "max" in visits. But be very careful NK's Dad was trying very hard to keep from custody changing that he was promising her anything she wanted. I'm no better then the Dad is what our issue was a cruel step parent was involved so NK choose to leave & therefore her Dad has disowned her & has had nothing to do with her for 5 years now. Its sad that parenting was all good between us then step parent got involved & things went downhill. I'd rather us of done the joint custody but circumstances left NK to choose what was best for her not her Dad. Good luck

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#477851 - 03/02/10 05:14 PM Re: 14 year old wants to live with dad [Re: bettyboo]
janeyd Offline

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Registered: 03/02/10
Posts: 2
Looks like a little time has passed so you may not need the info anymore, but -- if I understand GA law correctly, if your daughter is 14 she can decide for herself. My lawyer has mentioned that the only way you can prevent it is if you can prove there are drugs, abuse, or other factors associated with dad that would endanger your daughter's welfare. Quite honestly, if I were in your shoes I would simply suggest a trial period for her to live with dad, after which you and she can discuss how it's going and what the next step should be. Your description of dad suggests he is not a strong parent, and IMHO kids figure out pretty quickly that even if dad is a pushover and there are no rules, there also won't be the benefits of having a "good" parent, either -- family atmosphere, meals, support, affection, protection, care, assistance with problems, etc. One other note, if the temporary change goes well and she is happy and doing well in school -- tough as it may be -- I would suggest simply letting her live there and supporting her in whatever way you can so that you can maintain a good relationship with her. In that case, I don't think you'd win in court plus you run the risk of alienating your daughter.

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