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#50 - 06/02/04 03:19 AM visitation....child support...womens rights....
rosieberry3 Offline
recently joined

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 2
:confused: [list] [list] [color:black] [/color] okay i'm going to try this again....i just wrote my story and for some reason it didn't post!

my boyfriend and i had a baby after being together for three years (not the best relationship inthe world!) 14 months after my daughter was born i broke up w/ my boyfriend after finding out he was using cheating on me and using drugs. about two weeks after that he showed up at my door (luckily my daughter was out w/ her auntie) and was trying to get back to gether. it was then he realized that i was serious about not getting back together and he strangled me then left. two days latter thinking he had killed me he turned himself in for murder.

it's now two years latter i am 23, work full time and own my own house. so all in all things are good............however, money can be tight.
we live in mass and
i have been told many things from many people about my rights.
people tell me not to try and get child support ever from him because if i do and he pays it then that gives him a better chance at getting visitation rights in the future.

other people say that if i go for child support or not it doesnt matter...and either way he can possibly get visitation rights.

i have even been told that i can go for child support while he is in jail and the common wealth of mass will pay me, then when he is out of jail he will owe that money to the common wealth.

i dont want this man any where near my daughter ever so of course if going for support will give him a better chance at visitation rights in the future then i want nothing to do w/ it............but i am confused about my right i guess!!!!!!!!
if any one has any information or suggestions that would be wonderful!

#51 - 06/02/04 05:49 AM Re: visitation....child support...womens rights.... [Re: rosieberry3]
Shyrider Offline

Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 44
Child support and visitation are two completely seperate issues. Whether or not you seek child support will have no bearing on his visitation rights should he choose to go to court to seek them.

If I were you, I would go, (while he is in jail!), and seek full physical and legal custody of your daughter. Ask for 100% legal rights, (meaning you are able to make all decisions regarding her), and also ask that *if* visitation rights are given to the father should he seek them, that all visitation be supervised. He sounds like a very dangerous man!

Do you have a restraining order against him? If I were you, I would talk to an attorney. Most attorney's will give you a free consultation. You can then ask what legal steps you need to take to ensure that your baby is safe in your care, and that *you* are safe from your ex.

Good luck, and I hope this has helped!

#52 - 06/02/04 04:33 PM Re: visitation....child support...womens rights.... [Re: Shyrider]
rosieberry3 Offline
recently joined

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 2
i have a restraining order on him and a few weeks after he was in jail i went to court and did get full custody of my daughter. at that time i was still a little out of it after what happen and didn't ask all the questions i should have!
thank you so much for the information!

#53 - 06/02/04 06:09 PM Re: visitation....child support...womens rights.... [Re: Shyrider]
Maury Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 8182
Loc: This Asylum --->
Child support and parenting time are unrelated issues. However, if you seek child support, he may file a counter motion seeking to have visitation. Whether or not visitation is allowed is based on what is in the child's bvest interests. If he has no relationship with the child currently, any initial visitation would have to be supervised. If he followed through with the supervised visit, only then could he progress to more regular unsupervised contact.

#54 - 06/02/04 07:07 PM Re: visitation....child support...womens rights.... [Re: Maury]
tygrlili Offline
recently joined

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 13
Okay, I don't get this, 'visitation and child support are two different things.' In reality, they aren't.
When one goes for visitation, one of the first questions asked is... 'Is support paid? If so, what amount?'
Then when figuring support, parenting time is factored into the amount. So, where any court gets off saying they are two different animals, is beyond logic.

Maury, since you're an attorney, can you shed some light on this?

#55 - 06/07/04 07:30 AM Re: visitation....child support...womens rights.... [Re: tygrlili]
gr8Dad Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/07/04
Posts: 31800
Very rarely is parenting time figured into the amount for child support. The reason they say that they are two separate issues is that one may NOT withhold visitation for failure to pay support, and one may NOT withhold support for failure to facilitate visitation.
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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