My son's father and I have joint custody in Kentucky. I am primary custodian and the father was provided every other weekend and Thursdays for visitation per the court documents. Due to recent circumstances with his job and a recent marriage (weeks off work at a time and shift end hours before mine), the father has been able to pick our son up from school/child care, take him to Dr. appointments and attend more sports practices than me. I had also agreed for our son to stay with his father two nights on the weeks in which I will have our son for the weekend. Most days, I do not pick him up from school, he is delivered to me by his father at the end of my shift - or taken to ball games or practice - which occur several times a week. His dad even comes by my house to pick up our son before ballgames on my weekends and will not let me keep the ball uniform. Additionally, he has signed him up for a second ball league to run concurrently with his current league with games on Sundays without discussing this with me and obtaining my agreement. Of course, this will primarily involve time away from me during my custody time.
I have tried to allow my son's father to spend as much time with him as possible, yet feel as though he is taking over and not allowing me to share in the decision making. I need to get this situation under control so that I am not relinquishing my rights and allowing him to be primary custodian, yet do not want to anger him and have him challenge the custody and visitation order.
Also, since he has signed our son up for two sports teams without discussing them with me, am I in the wrong for doing things with my son on my parenting time schedule that doesn't involve the ballgames or practices? The current ball schedule for one team involves several games per day all weekend all summer. The second team has Sunday afternoon games for 2 months this summer. He then plans to play football and basketball - involving every weekend of the year. It seems excessive to me and something his father is pushing him to do. I would like to see him be more well-rounded and experience music lessons, Boy Scouts, and other activities with his friends as well as the zoo and camping and other activities with my boyfriend and his kids.
My plan is to talk with him this week and determine set days when I will pick up our son from school (or child care) and take him to practice or games. On my weekends, I want to take him to the games rather than his dad picking him up, dressing him and taking him. It seems a ploy for his Dad to spend as much time with him as possible. Although it is nice for them to spend time together, I feel like I am being pushed out of my son's life by his father and stepmom.
Any advice on how to handle this would be greatly appreciated.