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#515806 - 05/19/09 01:33 PM Re: If either of you file [Re: almostheaven]
Yes_Dad Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 08/23/08
Posts: 7406
[quote]Sometimes you can fair better getting a loan to pay off arrears, at a lower interest than the state may charge. [/quote]

He probably has a number of judgements on his credit report that would prevent a loan. Credit is tight right now as you know. He does however, have greater employment opportunities in Chicago than anywhere in Florida, regardless of their respective unemployment rates.

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#515807 - 05/20/09 02:47 AM Re: If either of you file [Re: Yes_Dad]
joey69 Offline

recently joined

Registered: 05/15/09
Posts: 5
This is very good advice and I sincerely appreciate all of it. Firstly, the 2,500 monthly was based on a management position I held at a nightclub. The owner was overpaying everyone and he liked me. They eventually closed down...that's when I moved to Chicago in hopes that I could better provide for my family (and to get away from the hostility AND to be there for my son's birth, more long stories). My present state of unemployment is because the restaurant I was bartending for closed down as well (it has nothing to do with me!). This is the nature of the business. Making $2500 monthly in hospitality, used to be no problem for a younger version of me...now its murder on the feet and a bit embarrassing (considering I'm going to be 40). I'm just one of those people that always thought the options and potential to do what I wanted were endless (and they were) but I just couldn't make up my mind. Finally, a path is becoming clearer...I'll be in my early forties but, providing for my family and, most importantly, accomplishing what I set out to do.
Secondly, I claimed bankruptcy last year because of the enormous amount of credit card debt I incurred trying to keep up with my payments. Can I use this as some kind of defense...I wonder? Anyway, I dug a large hole for myself because of my inability to find my purpose. My children are amazingly adaptive and I have worked diligently to mitigate any sadness and loss they may feel...I video chat with my daughter 4-5 days a week...I play with my son everyday...I help with my daughters homework...I brush my son's teeth...I do all and more, what a father should. I will get out of this hole I just need a little help getting started.
Secondly...of course I intend to pay for the flight expenses...that was never in question. What is...is that I don't want to continue to shell out more money than I need to, considering that ultimately, it's taking away from things I could be doing with my daughter. Again...if I were to approach (just) this matter through court, would she be allowed to address the support issue then?
Thanks for the advice, Joe

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#515808 - 05/20/09 04:01 AM basically [Re: joey69]
Melody Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 10102
Loc: California
if you open a case over a money issue, it allows all aspects of the finances to be reviewed. So, if you decide to bring the matter of the extra plane tickets you've been buying to the courts for a decision....your ex can bring up the fact that you haven't been paying the full support amount, which will put you in a less than favorable light with the court.

The court isn't going to care about how your previous club owner overpaid you. They are only going to see the fact that you were paid $2500 for performing those duties....which establishes a history of being able to earn that amount for that type of work.

If you can show that the going rate for that type of work is currently less than $2500, then the court may agree to consider a lesser amount as what you are capable of earning. Bear in mind that you've been unemployed, which will also look bad to the court IF you are unable to PROVE that you've searched high and low for jobs within your skill set. Unfortunately, without proof, your ex can try to paint a picture of you sitting at home collecting your unemployment checks, doing nothing, watching TV, eating Cheetos, and saying "boo hoo, I can't find a job". I'm not saying you're doing this, I'm just saying what your adversary may try to do. You need to be able to refute this.

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#515809 - 05/20/09 11:49 AM Re: If either of you file [Re: joey69]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
She can address the support issue at any time. It would be weighed against your requests. The judge may see that you're behind in support and take no sympathy...they may see that you've been paying what you can and are trying to rectify it and be sympathetic. You'll never know until you go before the judge. The bankruptcy is pretty much the same. It really has no bearing on the case other than what the judge makes of it. It can be brought up, as can most anything. The judge will determine what is relevant and what isn't.

It's ok to start at 40. My husband waited until 45 before deciding to have a family and stop playing. He was a musician for 30 years. Around 45, he figured out that the music industry had shyt for medical/dental insurance. ;) At 50, he has his first child. Now he works his butt off to try and make up for it and provide for his family.
_________________________
Char Fox

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