So SS and Daddy were watching "cops" and SS asks daddy, "have you been to jail?" We are having a problem with SS lying (alot) so he tells the truth. Yes and that it was because he got into fights. Then he asks about mommy, he said yes. SS want's to know what for he just said she did some bad things.
SS asks mommy that night on the phone and mom straight up lies. So after arguing with SS she wants to speak with daddy.
My husband kept his cool the whole time (I was very shocked because I could hear her loud and clear from across the room). He called her out on everything she tried to say. She didn't think it was his place to tell (and I understand that this can be argued both ways) He said he didn't want to lie and that we were teaching him not to and it wasn't fair that she could lie and he couldn't.
After over an hour and half conversation she then wants to talk to me about it, bringing up the custody papers about not saying anything bad about the other parent. I asked would you have told the truth and (1st) she said no he was too young to understand that she went to jail(he is 8) and he wouldn't understand until he was 17 or 18. Whether or not that maybe true, she wasn't giving her child any credit.
Then (later on) she said we don't know what she would have said (yes I do, you just said you'd lie and you did when he asked).
SO since she brought this up, I brought up that she's doing the same thing when she tells him he has two REAL daddys. Now she says she never told him that. I confronted her because she told me she did. (1st) it's what would we want her to say, that he's his daddy just like I'm his mommy, (just like we explained to him). He already understood (after we explained that your real dadddy has your last name) who his real daddy was and who his step daddy was. They just didn't want him to stop calling him "daddy". (2nd) He's too young to understand the difference. My friend has an 8 year old that understands all of this.
This just blew my mind how little credit (and little effort she would have put into explaining) she gives her child.