Start Your Divorce Today - Premium Divorce Online

Page 13 of 15 < 1 2 11 12 13 14 15 >
Topic Options
#537309 - 07/30/09 05:13 PM Re: Actually, it is... [Re: Yes_Dad]
Danicori Offline
newbie

Registered: 07/24/08
Posts: 35
Man, that is alot to read.. I was the one to post the original post, I come back and check in a few days and OMG there was alot of responces.....

Top
#537310 - 07/30/09 05:21 PM Re: Actually, it is... [Re: Yes_Dad]
Cassie23 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 10/07/05
Posts: 14784
I've never talked about this before but the amount of money I was making (net) 5 years prior to the divorce (and in the same house) was almost exactly the same I was paying her in support. I spent the first 5 years of our marriage building my career (which she was NO help..in fact, more of a hinderance). I took a huge job 3 years before the divorce that pushed my earnings WAY up. She was getting more in various support in 1995 than I even MADE in 1990. All3 kids in 1990 (same house) were well fed, well clothed, IN DAY CARE at the time (even though she didn't work) etc. Fast forward 5 years, we divorce, she gets more in support than I had made 5 years older and my kids would come out dressed in rags saying "Mom says we are on a spending freeze and you need to buy us some new clothes). Otherwise, they would spend the week in the same ratty clothing. YET, in the garage was either a Corvette, then a Caddilac and in the driveway was a brand new TOTALLY tricked up monster truck. She was using the money to buy her husband this stuff (buying his "love" I guess) and my kids suffered for it. Prior to moving into my 3500sq home, he was living in his parents basement. He didn't work. Neither did she. How do you think I felt picking them up for visitation as seeing THAT? It took every once of strength not to rip their Mom, and I assure you I didn't.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I am assuming your state doesn't have a deviation of CS after a certain amount of income. I know NYS can deviate on anything after $80k...

I am just wondering why a judge would THINK that a CP would need this much money in CS? Knowing that the CS would probably just not benefit just the children.

Sad, really. That was horrible to read.

Top
#537311 - 07/30/09 05:53 PM Re: Actually, it is... [Re: Cassie23]
Yes_Dad Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 08/23/08
Posts: 7406
[quote]I've never talked about this before but the amount of money I was making (net) 5 years prior to the divorce (and in the same house) was almost exactly the same I was paying her in support. I spent the first 5 years of our marriage building my career (which she was NO help..in fact, more of a hinderance). I took a huge job 3 years before the divorce that pushed my earnings WAY up. She was getting more in various support in 1995 than I even MADE in 1990. All3 kids in 1990 (same house) were well fed, well clothed, IN DAY CARE at the time (even though she didn't work) etc. Fast forward 5 years, we divorce, she gets more in support than I had made 5 years older and my kids would come out dressed in rags saying "Mom says we are on a spending freeze and you need to buy us some new clothes). Otherwise, they would spend the week in the same ratty clothing. YET, in the garage was either a Corvette, then a Caddilac and in the driveway was a brand new TOTALLY tricked up monster truck. She was using the money to buy her husband this stuff (buying his "love" I guess) and my kids suffered for it. Prior to moving into my 3500sq home, he was living in his parents basement. He didn't work. Neither did she. How do you think I felt picking them up for visitation as seeing THAT? It took every once of strength not to rip their Mom, and I assure you I didn't.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I am assuming your state doesn't have a deviation of CS after a certain amount of income. I know NYS can deviate on anything after $80k...

I am just wondering why a judge would THINK that a CP would need this much money in CS? Knowing that the CS would probably just not benefit just the children.

Sad, really. That was horrible to read. [/quote]

The whole Illinois CS system is screwed up

1. CP's income plays NO role in the amount of CS
2. CP BY LAW is NOT required to pay a single cent to the care and upbringing of the child. They are not required to do anything BY statute.
3. Visitation time plays NO role. You can have 49/51 custody and you pay the same as someone who see's the kid once a month.
4. Their is no cap. If you make $1M you pay the same as a percent as someone who makes $10K
5. Their is no law the CP must contribute to health insurance, college, healthcare in general, nor keep a roof over the childs head or feed them

In general, 100% of the cost of the care and upbringing of the child is the NCP's responsibility. It does NOT matter if the amount is exessive. As an example, my ex could have moved out of the house she was in (which was paid for) bought a smaller one and keep the difference.

In 100% of the cases I saw in court and of the 20 or so friends and family, in each case, the man was forced from the home. Even if he had just lost his job and was penniless (2 of whom I know)

It is rare they "impute" an income. The NCP CLEARLY has to demonstrate he is actively looking for a job if he has none (via a job diary).

I was also ordered to pay her around $1000 a month in "rehabilitative maintenence" in which, as the CO CLEARLY stipulates "to be used for educational purposes". She also got married without telling anyone, even her kids, and continued to collect support. She told me, the courts and the kids "he lived there",(cohabitation is not ground for support termination). When at the end of support, she told me she got married. I pulled the cert from the clerks office that showed it was two years earlier. She did NOT go to school, as stipulated. When I motioned for the money to be returned (at least 1/2), the motion was denied.

When I motioned for her to show the money was spent on the kids, the motioned was denied.

The NCP is required to pay 100% of the educational cost. When she motioned that "hot lunches (the kids lived 4 houses from the school), ink cartridges (which the kids told me were for her printer. They didn
t have one, and CLOTHES were "educational expenses" the motion was APPROVED.

All the while, she told them I refused to pay CS (when it was always garnished).

Top
#537312 - 07/30/09 06:31 PM Re: Actually, it is... [Re: Yes_Dad]
Cassie23 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 10/07/05
Posts: 14784
Yeah this definitely makes me sick to my stomach. The laws are not focused on what is in the best interest of the children. They certainly aren't fair by any means.

She sounds like a real piece of work. To this day I don't know how you can even look at her.

Top
#537313 - 07/30/09 06:48 PM Re: Actually, it is... [Re: Cassie23]
Yes_Dad Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 08/23/08
Posts: 7406
[quote]Yeah this definitely makes me sick to my stomach. The laws are not focused on what is in the best interest of the children. They certainly aren't fair by any means.

She sounds like a real piece of work. To this day I don't know how you can even look at her. [/quote]

Well, GoodMom said I was a child abuser when I let my oldest (who is 23) read the court orders but this is the law of the land here. AT LEAST they have an actual law regarding visitation interference that isin't tied to contempt but every single NCP who lead normal lives goes through this here in Illinois. If you are a CP, this is the place to be. We have our fair share of idiot NCP's, believe me but some just can't live with the laws. I can now look at her and have a normal discussion because I did my job and took care of business and confined almost all interaction with her to the court room. She probably brought me to court 10 times or so, over inane things.

I'll give you one more example. My Mom died in January 2004 and I got sick in April the same year. I owned a part of a house (we all split her home). At the time, I was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer, which you know what THAT means. What did she do? She SUED me trying to get a share of the house. I'm talking to funeral directors and she sues me trying to get a share of my share.

It takes a LOT for me to hate someone, and I could never hate a mother of any of my kids. I might not care about them but I can't hate them. Like I said in another post my kids are everything to me and come before anyone or anything. So I can't hate them. No matter how the treated me.

Some people on this board think I am a total A-hole and that's fine, but stuff rolls off my back pretty easy. I don't hate ex#2 either and I've only been divorced from her for a short realitvely short time and she has been worse than Ex#1 because she know how to "get" me, and that is using my children as weapons against me.

Top
#537314 - 07/30/09 07:04 PM Re: Actually, it is... [Re: Yes_Dad]
Cassie23 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 10/07/05
Posts: 14784
I don't think you are an A-hole at all. Your case is an extreme as in you are a high wage earner, you have had to pay CS and alimony in two different cases. You also did a lot (or all?) of your court hearings pro se. You are not the norm for this site.

I find it a bit refreshing, I would rather see the whole picture than bits and pieces of it. You are a NCP living in IL.

Do you think CS laws should be universal?

As far as showing your son the court papers at 23 years old, I see nothing wrong with that. He must've had questions. His mother was telling him for years things that weren't true- things that could change his opinion of you, if he let it.

SD still talks about this 'Dear John' letter that her Dad left when he abandoned her and her Mom. SD has no idea that BM was having an affair and it was her Dad that found a letter from this guy.

BM also said she was getting no CS, when she did every time, on time, even earlier if she needed it.

I'm glad that you don't hate your X, but considering what she did- I find her actions inconceivable, and to be honest very evil.

Top
#537315 - 07/30/09 07:09 PM Re: Actually, it is... [Re: Cassie23]
Sherron Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 11/25/06
Posts: 20729
"Some people on this board think I am a total A-hole "

No, not a TOTAL one. I do get irritated when you go off on your tangent about how it's the cp's fault if/when an ncp gets jailed for non-payment. I'm sure I rub a few people the wrong way as well. Life goes on.

Top
#537316 - 07/30/09 07:16 PM Re: Actually, it is... [Re: Sherron]
JennyLynn Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/05
Posts: 31656
Some people on this board think I'm a total b*tch - they aren't the say all end all, who cares :). You know who you are Yes Dad, that's really all that matters.

Top
#537317 - 07/30/09 07:52 PM Re: Actually, it is... [Re: Sherron]
Cassie23 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 10/07/05
Posts: 14784
I do get irritated when you go off on your tangent about how it's the cp's fault if/when an ncp gets jailed for non-payment. I'm sure I rub a few people the wrong way as well. Life goes on.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I do disagree with that one as well. NCP knows what can happen if decide not to pay CS- NCP's choice. I just wish that the same standards applied to CP's who do NOT financially contribute to their child's wellbeing AND/OR who withhold visitation.

Top
#537318 - 07/30/09 07:53 PM Re: Actually, it is... [Re: JennyLynn]
Cassie23 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 10/07/05
Posts: 14784
Some people on this board think I'm a total b*tch

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I really do not know how anyone can think THAT. I mean, I understand someone not agreeing you because of what you do or don't...but thinking you are a B? Nah...that to me is literally crazy! Unless we are calling you a fine a$$ sweet b!tch!

Top
Page 13 of 15 < 1 2 11 12 13 14 15 >

Moderator:  dsAdmin 


Resources & Tools
Start Your Divorce Online Start Your Divorce
Several Options to Get Started Today.
Divorce Tools Online Divorce Tools
Keeping it Simple to Get the Job Done.
Divorce Downloads Download Center
Instantly Download Books, Guides & Forms.
Divorce and Custody Books Discount Books
Over 100 of the Best Divorce & Custody Books.
Negotiate Online Negotiate Online
Settle your Divorce and Save.
Custody and Support Tracking Custody Scheduling
Make Sure You Document Everything.

Easily Connect With a Lawyer or Mediator
Have Divorce Professionals from Your Area Contact You!
Enter Your Zip Code: