Start Your Divorce Today - Premium Divorce Online

Page 6 of 15 < 1 2 4 5 6 7 8 14 15 >
Topic Options
#537239 - 07/28/09 11:53 PM Re: Actually, it is... [Re: JennyLynn]
Yes_Dad Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 08/23/08
Posts: 7406
It's rare any are enforced.

Top
#537240 - 07/29/09 12:01 AM Re: Actually, it is... [Re: Yes_Dad]
Goodmom Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 06/17/07
Posts: 2202
Yesdad said:

It's the wrong thing to do.

My response:

Not following a court order is the wrong thing to do. The father was given 6 MONTHS to make some type of payment. He chose not to. His actions led him to be convicted of contempt of court. Which could lead to jail.

Yesdad said:

I didn't read any of AH's responses because she is delusional but Jenny, as RJ said, the kid will end up hating the parent that has the other parent jailed.

My response:

One parent didn't have the other parent jailed. The father in this case failed to follow a court order. It was his actions and his actions alone that led to him being jailed. His ex is not responsible for his behavior, he is.

Yesdad said:

I've never been but I know the reaction I got when my kids were old enough to read the truth.

My response:

Bragging about how you abuse your children is pathetic. Involving them in your divorce, even if they are 18 is abuse. Plain and simple. One day, that will bite you in the a$$. And rightfully so.

Yesdad said:

Like I said, yanking someones professional or drivers license is one thing. Getting them thrown in jail is another.

My response:

Failing to follow a court order is called contempt. And that is punishable by sending the person who is disregarding the court order to jail. And just so that everybody else is clear (you are hopeless): ONLY A JUDGE CAN ORDER CONTEMPT OF COURT AND JAIL TIME. The other parent can't.

Yesdad:

CP's that act in an egregious manner towards the NCP are in for a big shock once the child is no longer a child.

My response:

And ncp's who fail to pay their court ordered child support are in for a shock when the child support arrears don't go away when the child is emancipated.

Yesdad said:

I have kids who are kids and I have kids who are now adults so I can speak from EXPERIENCE.

My response:

My dad, the ncp, found that out the hard way. He badmouthed my mom, told us details about the divorce that he shouldn't have. There are 5 of us. He has 10 grandchildren that he has never met. Why? Because none of his 5 kids talk to him. And haven't since the day we turned 18.

You know, kind of like what you did on their 18th birthday.

You really don't have a whole lot of room to talk given that you did what you accuse CP's of doing.




It's part of the reason ex#2 tries extremely hard to co-parent. She was the stepmother of my kids for 12 years and they bonded and still talk. She knows what will happen if she continued on her previous course (in addition to me being able to take the kids when I want or am well enough to do so). She saw it all and the aftermath. My kids still visit her. The ex-stepmother. Which is fine with me. She is the exact opposite of ex#1 in all regards, especially the kids. [/quote]

Top
#537241 - 07/29/09 12:13 AM Re: Actually, it is... [Re: Yes_Dad]
JennyLynn Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/05
Posts: 31656
They are very much enforced in my county. As is denying visitation.

Top
#537242 - 07/29/09 12:46 AM Re: Actually, it is... [Re: Cassie23]
RJ1 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 12/20/05
Posts: 5165
But that's my entire point, I don't agree with jailtime. And I also agree it's not the CP's fault, but I don't agree with the punishment being jailtime. Period. I don't have the answers for nonpayment, but jailtime is something I will never agree with.

We have a lot more to lose than gain by my ex going to jail. The constant presence of my ex in my son's life is way more important to me than the coins I could squeeze out of him. And DHR/court/judges make me wanna puke. Not something that makes me happy and I avoid it at all costs.

I want peace, peace for my son and my family. My son doesn't miss CS, but he would sure miss his Dad. And if his Dad went to jail, he would feel responsible in his own way I'm sure.

My ex is a great Dad, he paid faithfully for 7 years, he has never missed a weekend in almost 10 years, and my son loves him to death. I will not jeopardize that, and I will not force the issue. I can't disengage in that way, I wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing my son's Dad was in jail. We are all tied together and I just couldn't do it.

Top
#537243 - 07/29/09 01:01 AM Re: Actually, it is... [Re: RJ1]
Yes_Dad Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 08/23/08
Posts: 7406
If the CP isn't responsiblr, who is?

Top
#537244 - 07/29/09 01:15 AM Re: Actually, it is... [Re: Yes_Dad]
BeckaLeigh Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/08/05
Posts: 6879
Loc: Texas
The CP isn't responsible for the NCP failing to follow the CO and help support their kids. We do get to deal with the consequences of the irresponsible NCP's failure to pay the CS. If the NCP doesn't want to go to jail, they need to make sure they do what they are Co'd to do. I don't think jail is the answer, either, but I see my X heading in that direction. The effect jail will have on him is very nill compared to the effects of his failure to be a father in ANY way has on our kids.
_________________________
I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.

Top
#537245 - 07/29/09 01:25 AM Re: Actually, it is... [Re: BeckaLeigh]
JennyLynn Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/05
Posts: 31656
I completely agree BL. It's not about money really. It's about taking responsibility for a child you helped create. If my exhusband were a "good father" but truly couldn't afford child support I'd feel completely different. Unfortunately that isn't the case.

Top
#537246 - 07/29/09 01:54 AM Re: Actually, it is... [Re: Yes_Dad]
googledad Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 12/31/05
Posts: 10213
AH lives in a strange world and she has NO concept of reality.

&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt; Yup , it's called West Virginia . Here's a few stats about the state , maybe it'll explain her just a little .

W. Virginia :

Dead last ( of all states ) in % of the population with a college degree 15.3% .

Dead last in &amp; of married couples with both husband &amp; wife in the labor force 41.6%

Dead last in employment ratio 61.8%

#1 in % of population with diabetes 10.9%

#1 % of population with high blood pressure 33.6%

#1 % of population who've lost their natural teeth 42.8%

#1 in overweight and obesity rate 61.2%

#1 in smokeless tobacco users 31.2%

&amp;

#1 in Percent of People 21 to 64 Years Old With a Disability 21.5%


From these facts it can be discerned that AH is most likely morbidly obese with diabetes and high blood pressure , a high school graduate , toothless , unemployed while hubby brings home the bacon , disabled and has several spittoons around her trailer .
_________________________
Careful. We don't want to learn from this.

Top
#537247 - 07/29/09 11:31 AM Re: Actually, it is... [Re: RJ1]
Cassie23 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 10/07/05
Posts: 14784
I want peace, peace for my son and my family. My son doesn't miss CS, but he would sure miss his Dad. And if his Dad went to jail, he would feel responsible in his own way I'm sure.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Oh I get that, but then when should an adult be held accountable for their actions or non actions? I understand you don't agree with the form of punishment, but if that is the law in regards to CS and the NCP is mentally capable of understanding it then it seems to me that the NCP doesn't care enough to make sure his @ss stays out of jail for his kid. As a CP I understand that you care enough to keep your X out of jail for your son, why doesn't he?

Although he is a great guy, he seriously has something missing...because why doesn't he see that NOT paying could take him away from his kid? You would think that would be enough for him to want to stay out of jail. Why should he rely on you to keep him out? He has the choice, and it just doesn't seem to me he is making the best one for his kid and himself.

Top
#537248 - 07/29/09 11:37 AM Re: Actually, it is... [Re: JennyLynn]
Cassie23 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 10/07/05
Posts: 14784
It's not about money really. It's about taking responsibility for a child you helped create. If my exhusband were a "good father" but truly couldn't afford child support I'd feel completely different. Unfortunately that isn't the case.
_____________________________________________________________

I think there are SOME CP's (I won't say all because I know some CP's are very money hungry) that would be willing to decrease the amount of CS so that the NCP's can afford CS without CSE having to go after him and forcing him to pay. Thus keeping them out of jail.

So for those not willing to send the NCP to jail over CS, why not just forgive arrears and accept $0 CS? That way NCP isn't racking up arrears and the NCP won't possibly go to jail for not paying? If you don't like the punishment for not paying, then don't have them pay. You could have something between the both of you- that when he does have money pay as you want, when you want.

Top
Page 6 of 15 < 1 2 4 5 6 7 8 14 15 >

Moderator:  dsAdmin 


Resources & Tools
Start Your Divorce Online Start Your Divorce
Several Options to Get Started Today.
Divorce Tools Online Divorce Tools
Keeping it Simple to Get the Job Done.
Divorce Downloads Download Center
Instantly Download Books, Guides & Forms.
Divorce and Custody Books Discount Books
Over 100 of the Best Divorce & Custody Books.
Negotiate Online Negotiate Online
Settle your Divorce and Save.
Custody and Support Tracking Custody Scheduling
Make Sure You Document Everything.

Easily Connect With a Lawyer or Mediator
Have Divorce Professionals from Your Area Contact You!
Enter Your Zip Code: