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#537269 - 07/29/09 06:33 PM Re: Actually, it is... [Re: Yes_Dad]
JennyLynn Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/05
Posts: 31656
Yes dad, we've discussed it. I'm NOT disagreeing with you.

I completely agree the courts are biased in most cases. That still has nothing to do with an NCP not accepting the consequences to his/her actions. We're talking about 2 different things here.


Edited by JennyLynn (07/29/09 06:33 PM)

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#537270 - 07/29/09 07:44 PM Re: Actually, it is... [Re: JennyLynn]
Yes_Dad Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 08/23/08
Posts: 7406
The best thing for all involved is 50/50 with no support being exchanged.

The actual BEST scenario, although out of reach for most people, is "nesting" where the children stay in one home and the parents each spend their portion of their time at the house and an apartment when it is not their visitation, which can also be used by both parents, although when one gets married, that blows it all to crap.

One thing I DON'T like are CO's ordering a house to be sold and the proceeds being split however. A divorce is traumatic for a kid as it is, yanking them out of their house is even more traumatic.

But you are correct where there are NCP's who do not live up to their parental responsibilities, and there are CP's who don't either. IF the CP receives support, it can't do anything but help enhance their lifestyle, unless the amount is really low. Like $300 a month or something. But in many instances, CS allows a CP to live in a house rather than apartment, buy the SUV (got to drag the little ones around) rather than a regular car, etc.

Ok, so my ex and her husband, because of my CS, were enabled to live in a large house where neither were employed for 12 years. Does that not constitute theft? They both used the kids money to pay ALL of THEIR OWN expenses. It's not like they lived on a farm and grew their own food. It's not like they built cars from scratch (a new one every couple of years, plus an additional truck for him). They didn't generate their own electric power nor set up their own phone lines or hauled water from Lake Michigan to the house. No...they used the money meant for the care and upbringing of the children for their own use. So, how does not constitute theft? I would be LAUGHED out of the courtroom if I tried to prosecute on that.

Every single divorced Dad I know in real life see their kids on a regular basis and pay their support. I have never met any man who didn't. It seems like a lot on this board because if you are here, you have some problem of some type.

I have said that before my last court battle, I sat in the courtroom for 2 weeks prior, the entire day and watched maybe 75 or so cases come before the judge. And the man was always painted as the bad guy and the woman as a victim somehow. Many cases were boring as hell. Where usually she was pissed at him over the most inane things and their motions were granted.

I think a father being there for his kids in one way or another is more important than CS. But CS is also important. On both sides.

As shown earlier, the CP's income raises or lowers the bar on CS VERY little. And in MY state, it isn't even used in the calculation of CS, only the NCP, which 85% of the time is a man. If a woman receives $1000 a month in support, she should be required to show she spent not only $1000 on the kids, but an additional $1000 that SHE spent on the kids. But we know it dosen't work that way. Anywhere. Housing is not part of the equation nor should a vehicle, unless she was willing to be homeless and without transportation. Those are things she would have, kids or no kids.

After I basically beat the crap out of her in our last court fight, my ex now lets me have the kids anytime I want. In fact, she goes out of her way now, where previously, she was doing whatever she could to interfere in visitation. She came THIS CLOSE to totally losing custody and it was MY decision to allow her to keep it. So we have no problems. Once again (as I did last week) give up one of my days so their Aunt could bring them to the Indiana Dunes. A very fun outting for kids that age, with the new cousins. I wouldn't interupt that.

But when women start actually going to jail for visitation interference or misuse of funds, I'll say things are equal.

They aren't, the system is broken and needs a complete overhaul in all areas.

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#537271 - 07/29/09 07:45 PM Re: Actually, it is... [Re: Yes_Dad]
JennyLynn Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/05
Posts: 31656
&lt;&lt;The best thing for all involved is 50/50 with no support being exchanged.
&gt;&gt;

I agree, in MOST circumstances. I wouldn't agree with it in mine - not that he has ever wanted more than EOW anyay.

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#537272 - 07/29/09 07:48 PM ROFL!... [Re: googledad]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
Gawd what an idiot. Yeah, I live in WV. I was BORN and raised in Ohio though. Wanna supply those stats?

From these facts it can be discerned that AH is most likely morbidly obese - Nope. Sorry to dissapoint but I'm at my optimum weight and get to the Y at least twice a week.

with diabetes and high blood pressure , - Nope again. NO health problems other than a murmur I was born with. In fact, I'm extremely healthy.

a high school graduate , - Yup. And a trade school graduate, and certified network technician, and have some college courses to boot.

toothless , - Sorry, but no, got my teeth. Though I do have a bridge in one spot.

unemployed while hubby brings home the bacon , - Hmmm, guess that's why I talk about my job so much. Moron. I make more than hubby BTW. Chew on that. ;)

disabled and has several spittoons around her trailer . - Nope and nope. Perfectly healthy and own a tri-level house. But then, you knew all this. Still was fun shattering your fantasy world.
_________________________
Char Fox

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#537273 - 07/29/09 07:50 PM What hairdo of "mine"?... [Re: Yes_Dad]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
Or are you still so stupidly obsessed with the play picture taken in Vegas of my face and someone ELSE'S hair? I bet you got in a lot of fights on the school playground, didn't ya?
_________________________
Char Fox

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#537274 - 07/29/09 07:53 PM You didn't read my responses... [Re: Yes_Dad]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
Because you CANNOT come up with logical responses. ;)

Other than that:

&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;the kid will end up hating the parent

Only you would believe you know what goes through every kid's mind.
_________________________
Char Fox

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#537275 - 07/29/09 07:56 PM Re: Actually, it is... [Re: RJ1]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
You have a lot of control over them going to jail for beating you too...you either call the cops or you don't. Either way, NO ONE, not even Mr. I'm Always Right Yes Dad, can say every kid is going to hold it against the parent for sending the other parent to jail. There is such a thing as circumstances, like the beating. Even with just a CS issue, the circumstances could be such that jail is the last resort and totally warranted.
_________________________
Char Fox

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#537276 - 07/29/09 07:58 PM Re: Actually, it is... [Re: RJ1]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;We have a lot more to lose than gain by my ex going to jail.

Problem...we didn't. We had a lot more to gain than lose. My ex was not present in his daughter's life from birth to the age of 15. Once present, within a few years time, he kicked her out on the street, stole money from her, bodily threw her from his home, etc. Being in jail would've meant she'd have been much better off. And maybe actual jail time might have shown him that someone was serious about the support he wasn't paying.
_________________________
Char Fox

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#537277 - 07/29/09 08:00 PM The state.... [Re: Yes_Dad]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
Some states REQUIRE support be paid through the state, so the state KNOWS if they're behind. And if the CP at any point needs to get ANY assistance, the state will definately go after the NCP for a portion of it back. If they get no assistance, the state may STILL go after them as they go through dormant cases.
_________________________
Char Fox

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#537278 - 07/29/09 08:02 PM Didn't happen... [Re: Tweeby]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
Cause Yes Dad doesn't believe in it, it cannot possibly happen.
_________________________
Char Fox

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