Start Your Divorce Today - Premium Divorce Online

Topic Options
#59269 - 01/04/06 02:22 AM Child Custody for 16yr old.
AliveAgain Offline
recently joined

Registered: 12/09/05
Posts: 22
My ex is the primary custodian and our 16yr old has proven to be too much for her to handle. We have mediation on the 31st and so she is going to let him move in with me for a trial period until the mediation and the courts decide. So she has written a note saying that we both are in agreement BUT she also wrote that he can not get his driver license back, a car and cannot work.

This was HER punishment to him, taking away his licences and work permit. I don't have to agree to that do I?

My question is this, even if I sign that note, is it still binding? It is my understanding that if my son is living with me she has no say so if he works or has a licenses. That is HER punishement to him but not mine. I can't inforce punishment on the children when they are in her care, so she can't do that when he is living with me can she? If she is letting him move in with me until the hearing, she no longer has primary custodial rights ie. punishments etc.

Top
#59270 - 01/04/06 06:27 AM If she is holding the license [Re: AliveAgain]
Melody Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 10102
Loc: California
I can't see how you can get around it. She is still the legal parent who has the right to withhold her permission for the driving and working. Your ex would still have some right to legal decisions regarding your son's ability to drive or to work regardless of whether or not he lives with you.

As for your upcoming legal issues...how can you be waiting for mediation AND a court decision? In mediation, a decision is reached between the parties...it only goes to a court decision if you cannot come to agreement in mediation.

Your ex would still have some right to legal decisions regarding your son's ability to drive or to work regardless of whether or not he lives with you.

PS...I don't believe anything in that note is binding because it is not a court order.

Top
#59271 - 01/04/06 06:12 PM Re: If she is holding the license [Re: Melody]
AliveAgain Offline
recently joined

Registered: 12/09/05
Posts: 22
I did an exparte a few weeks ago and they gave us another court date at the beginning of Feb and our mediation is at the end of Jan. I don't believe she can still control his life if he is living with me.

Thank you for this info, are an attorney?

Top
#59272 - 01/04/06 06:28 PM Re: If she is holding the license [Re: AliveAgain]
AliveAgain Offline
recently joined

Registered: 12/09/05
Posts: 22
Im sorry, we have both joint legal custody, its just they live with her. So if he is living with me now, I don't see how she can force her punishment on him.

Top
#59273 - 01/05/06 02:04 AM She can't force you to uphold [Re: AliveAgain]
Melody Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 10102
Loc: California
her punishment...such as a curfew, etc...because it's your house/your rules. However, if she is holding the license, then he cannot drive, so the punishment is in effect due to the legal requirement to carry the license while operating the motor vehicle.

What I don't understand is why you don't want to support her consequences. What did the child do to result in these consequences? Have you given any thought to co-parenting and supporting the other parent's decisions? There should be a united front when dealing with discipline issues. I'm thinking that his behavior must have been rather extreme to result in such a strong punishment. Aren't you sending him the wrong message by dismissing mom's consequences and getting around them?

Top
#59274 - 01/08/06 06:47 PM Re: Child Custody for 16yr old. [Re: AliveAgain]
Cinder2 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/05
Posts: 4361
Loc: Southern California
Your son coming to live with you right now is only at the permission of his mother, not a court order. If you don't agree to him not driving and working, then his mother can just come and take him back, so I would recommend that you support her decision.

I remember from a previous post that the reason that she took away the car and the job was that he lied to her and said he was at work when in reality he wasn't. I don't think you want that kind of behavior at your house, either, so personally I would continue to enforce the punishment.

You've posted on the issue several times in several ways. Why is it so important to you that your son have a job and be able to drive?

Cinder

Top

Moderator:  dsAdmin 


Resources & Tools
Start Your Divorce Online Start Your Divorce
Several Options to Get Started Today.
Divorce Tools Online Divorce Tools
Keeping it Simple to Get the Job Done.
Divorce Downloads Download Center
Instantly Download Books, Guides & Forms.
Divorce and Custody Books Discount Books
Over 100 of the Best Divorce & Custody Books.
Negotiate Online Negotiate Online
Settle your Divorce and Save.
Custody and Support Tracking Custody Scheduling
Make Sure You Document Everything.

Easily Connect With a Lawyer or Mediator
Have Divorce Professionals from Your Area Contact You!
Enter Your Zip Code: