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#601888 - 01/21/10 03:25 AM Husband doing everything to make me look bad HELP!
1976 Offline

recently joined

Registered: 01/17/10
Posts: 15
I barely made it through this weekend without going to jail. My soon to be ex left his 24 yr. old girlfriend in charge of our 10 year old son. I have never met this girl and our son has only known this girl about 18 days over a 2 month period. Make a long story short I told the girl to go home and my ex came back and they decided they should call the cops on me for disorderly contact. The girl taped me on her cell phone or recorder. Although the girl made it clear to the cop twice that it was no big deal to her. My ex was very upset that the cop wasn't going to arrest me..... Any help or advice with situations like this?

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#601889 - 01/21/10 04:51 AM Re: Husband doing everything to make me look bad HELP! [Re: 1976]
pokey Offline

Pooh-Bah

Registered: 07/16/09
Posts: 1786
Listen to the AC/DC song, Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheep.
_________________________
I have to go to work. Too many people on welfare depend on me.

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#601890 - 01/22/10 12:57 AM Re: Husband doing everything to make me look bad H [Re: pokey]
Sharonlynn Offline

recently joined

Registered: 12/31/09
Posts: 18
That is a tough one. You don't want your son's girlfriend to be left as charge of your son. Unfortunately, he can leave him with her while he has visitation with your son. Unless she does anything that endangers your son, you really can't do much.

Telling the girl to go home is not disorderly conduct. What did you say on her cell phone? My guess is that you got angry and said some things that your ex found offensive and was defending his girlfriend. That said, as much as you don't like it, you need to back off. If your ex is with her, she will be around your son. You want to have as good a relationship as you can with her for the sake of your son. You don't want her to take her anger towards you out on him.

Sharon(Sarah)lynn

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#601891 - 01/24/10 10:48 PM Re: Husband doing everything to make me look bad H [Re: Sharonlynn]
1976 Offline

recently joined

Registered: 01/17/10
Posts: 15
Thanks. I'm learning that I need to just deal with it. But my feelings are telling me different. In the police report the cop said he couldn't really here what I said. I don't remember everything I said. I don't even think I said that much. It wasn't like I threatened her or was all up in her face. I just have hard time because my kids hardly know her.. I know I do need to back off but it is really hard to just sit by and let it happen.. Any suggestions on how to do that?

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#601892 - 01/25/10 11:47 AM Re: Husband doing everything to make me look bad H [Re: 1976]
aprilellen7766 Offline

recently joined

Registered: 01/25/10
Posts: 7
Unfortunatly this kind of stuff happens all the time and I have learned from a good friend you need to take a step back take a few deep breaths and decide what needs to be done and how to do it you need to stay as calm as possible and dont let your feelings get in the way.I have and still do have the same problems with my soon to be ex and I dont always follow the advice given to you here by me which is something I need to do all the time because when I dont I look like a ding bat and you dont want to look like that stay calm for your childs sake

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#601893 - 01/28/10 06:00 PM Re: Husband doing everything to make me look bad H [Re: aprilellen7766]
sterue Offline

recently joined

Registered: 01/21/10
Posts: 17
Loc: Mexico, New York, USA
Since your divorce is not final yet you could add a provision about who watches your son or meeting the person watching your son as long as you are making this move in the best interest of your son and not to rebel against your husband. My son is the world to me and my estranged husband knows that if he tried anything like that I would have a fit because the safety of my son comes first and foremost.

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#601894 - 01/30/10 03:48 AM Re: Husband doing everything to make me look bad H [Re: sterue]
1976 Offline

recently joined

Registered: 01/17/10
Posts: 15
I am trying to get a "first right of refusal" but his attorney said she talked to the judge and the judge wouldn't order one. Although the guardian ad litem is for it only for overnights. I just don't get how the system will let anybody watch your kids. I have a 16 month old that I am the most concerned with and they could care less.

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