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#606719 - 02/08/10 10:27 PM Re: Bonus payout [Re: 1966Gal]
JennyLynn Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/05
Posts: 31656
&lt;&lt;Parents should get 50/50 or nothing. If they choose nothing, then it's up to the CP how much time the NCP will get with the kids. BUT the kids and the CP are no longer held to the WHIM of the NCP, if and when he/she decides to see the kids.&gt;&gt;

I wouldn't be against this. I do feel that if a parent doesn't regularly exercise his or her visitation, the discretion should be up to the custodial parent in most cases.

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#606720 - 02/08/10 10:30 PM Re: Bonus payout [Re: Sherron]
1966Gal Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 04/04/08
Posts: 10103
How would that work with the father of your children? You know, the one who is off on business trips to further his career? Would you put him in jail for child neglect, since he's not willing to make 50/50 work?
++++++

That's the point of the whole argument. THe courts make it too easy to not have 50/50. If the penalities were stiffer for not taking 50/50 you can bet my ex would have figured out a way.
_________________________
The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.

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#606721 - 02/08/10 10:32 PM Re: Bonus payout [Re: Sherron]
Sherron Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 11/25/06
Posts: 20729
"--And statistics are just that - statistics. I refuse to believe my son will have a worse life b/c his father chooses not to be a constant in it. As his mother and the person solely responsible for him, I will do everything in my power to be sure my son isn't one of those statistics. If his father weren't the person he is? I would absolutely 100% agree with you. "

The stats are true BECAUSE some parents are the type of people your ex is. I do hope your ds will be the outlier, but just because you don't believe in the stats doesn't make them any less true.

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#606722 - 02/08/10 10:34 PM Re: Bonus payout [Re: Sherron]
Sherron Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 11/25/06
Posts: 20729
"That's the point of the whole argument. THe courts make it too easy to not have 50/50. If the penalities were stiffer for not taking 50/50 you can bet my ex would have figured out a way."
So you'd rather your ex sit in jail than exercise the parenting time he HAS been exercising? How would your dds feel about this? And if he can make it work, it would likely mean a different career. Would you be willing to lower the cs so he can flip burgers for 40hrs a week to exercise his mandated 50/50?

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#606723 - 02/08/10 10:39 PM Re: Bonus payout [Re: Sherron]
JennyLynn Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/05
Posts: 31656
&lt;&lt;The stats are true BECAUSE some parents are the type of people your ex is. I do hope your ds will be the outlier, but just because you don't believe in the stats doesn't make them any less true. &gt;&gt;

No I 100% believe in the statistics. My point is that the statistics don't show 100% of all children are worse off without both parents being involved.

&lt;&lt;The stats are true BECAUSE some parents are the type of people your ex is.&gt;&gt;

It depends on what stats you're talking about. If a child grows up without seeing a lot of a manipulative, abusive, violent parent? I don't think the stats are going to show the child would have been better off had the parent been more involved. Which is exactly why I don't pressure my son's father to see him more.


Edited by JennyLynn (02/08/10 10:41 PM)

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#606724 - 02/08/10 10:44 PM Re: Bonus payout [Re: Sherron]
1966Gal Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 04/04/08
Posts: 10103
So you'd rather your ex sit in jail than exercise the parenting time he HAS been exercising? How would your dds feel about this? And if he can make it work, it would likely mean a different career. Would you be willing to lower the cs so he can flip burgers for 40hrs a week to exercise his mandated 50/50?
++++++

If the parents, TOGETHER, decide they don't want 50/50 and are CAPABLE of working something out themselves, then so be it. But in that case, not only should child support come into play, but so should some time of spousal mainentance - because then CP is doing all of the "work" the NCP should be doing their half of the time. And that spousal support should not end for as long as the CP is doing the majority of the work the NCP should be doing but has chosen not to.

However, if one parent wants 50/50 then that should be the presumption. It's UNFAIR to pawn off your parenting duties on a CP, and then call them greedy for getting a good amount of CS or spousal support. Afterall, how is NCP able to go out and earn that money? It's because CP has their parenting-bases covered.
_________________________
The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.

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#606725 - 02/08/10 10:45 PM Re: Bonus payout [Re: 1966Gal]
JennyLynn Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/05
Posts: 31656
If the parents, TOGETHER, decide they don't want 50/50 and are CAPABLE of working something out themselves, then so be it. But in that case, not only should child support come into play, but so should some time of spousal mainentance - because then CP is doing all of the "work" the NCP should be doing their half of the time. And that spousal support should not end for as long as the CP is doing the majority of the work the NCP should be doing but has chosen not to.

--And yet that's how it is in many cases Susan, if you think about it. Obviously I don't receive spousal support b/c of the short length of our marriage - but if he saw our son 50% of the time, he would be responsible for less CS. So technically, he is paying more b/c he chose to see him less.

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#606726 - 02/08/10 10:46 PM Re: Bonus payout [Re: 1966Gal]
Sherron Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 11/25/06
Posts: 20729
"It's UNFAIR to pawn off your parenting duties on a CP, and then call them greedy for getting a good amount of CS or spousal support. "

Which brings us full circle to Jeff. He HAS 50/50, he's not pawning them off, yet mom IS getting a good amount of cs. Greedy?

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#606727 - 02/08/10 10:48 PM Re: Bonus payout [Re: Sherron]
Redlegg Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 10/06/06
Posts: 27903
ESPECIALLY in a 50/50 situation. I think in a 50/50 custody split, there should also be a 50/50 income split so the kids have have a consistent life no matter where they are each week.


Tough call, perhaps if we made sure all children in the country had the same standard of living , it would work, Sure, some would come down, some would go up, but the children would be the first priority. We could actually make every adult pay into the standard of living for children fund, and no one pays CS. You get everything you need from this agency. I think it is a good idea. I know i feel personally responsible for my ex's standard of living after we divorced. I should pay for the rest of my life, because I thought at one time, we would be married until one of us died. In fact, this is the motivation I need to try to better myself, so everyone can share in the fruits of my labors, and be better off than they would be if they had to do it alone. it is not important that I have no input on the choices my ex makes, that she may choose to live in a mobile home and sock away for her retirement, what is important is that I have no choice, I have to subsidize her choices, because she has custody of a child that I am the parent of. It is the cost of procreating, and giving to the general fund is the cost of being a good citizen who is concerned for the welfare of all children. I know it may mean my child had to go to a government school, or a few less vacations every year, but I am not selfish, I can do this, for the betterment of our country as a whole. I am proud to serve my country, to give to it, when it needs it the most.

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#606728 - 02/09/10 12:04 AM Re: Bonus payout [Re: 1966Gal]
gr8Dad Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/07/04
Posts: 31800
GOF DAMN you are ignorant. Tell me, if he HAD figured out a way to make the 50/50 work, and it included taking a cut in PAY, would YOUR GREEDY ass have taken a cut in that BIG FAT ALIMONY check you got from him? Of COURSE not, because you think alimony is OWED to a spouse.
_________________________
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...

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