Here's my situation. Wife wants a divorce after 13.5 years of marriage. I make $130k per year and she makes $65k. We have one daughter who is 11. Wife wants to us to use a mediator and to go in with an agreed upon plan. Wife says that she will not take me to court. She wants me to take our big house and $447k mortgage ($410k first and $37k second) on a house worth maybe $420k in today's market. The reason she wants this is so our daughter can remain living here 50% of the time, go to the same school, have same friends, etc. I will have to go through the process with the lender of assuming the loan which I can do based on my income less $1000 child support a month (based on the Oregon child support table for 50/50). The key here is that I have to cash out an IRA to payoff the second mortgage. To pay off the $37k, I'll get hit with 44% tax. I'll then solely own a house with zero equity and hold a pretty big liability. On the flip side, if we sell we would both take a serious bath. Additionally, she could go after me for serious spousal support. Now, she would walk away with zero liability and is willing to cash out an IRA to afford the down payment on a house. She has also indicated that with this scenario, more of our assets should be moved over to her side because I would have the benefit of staying in the house.
So, my question is if spousal support is mandatory in Oregon? In our case, I would be assuming so much more in liability to maintain stability for our daughter. Could I be tagged for spousal support even if my wife doesn't ask for it? Is it fair that more of the assets are distributed to her even if I'm assuming the huge liability (with zero equity)? I almost feel I have to accept this to avoid having to pay support or having her live in the house with me paying for it until it sells. What do you think?