In Manistee County, the judge based fault for the breakup of the marriage on the wife dating a few months after the separation. Her down-state attorney argued that they were separated at the time, but the judge said, "They're not divorced until I say they're divorced". His decision to place blame, was argued in the Appeals Court and the Supreme Court. How to divide assets is solely up to the judge. No one can make him change his mind. This can happen in any county court. Yes, it seems inappropriate to ask, but the judge can do anything he/she wants to do. I wouldn't admit to anything, but if your spouse's attorney knows that the judge is strongy opposed to dating before the divorce is final, he/she may bring up proof that you did have an affair. I would argue it anyway.