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#688077 - 12/19/10 01:41 PM I keep coming back to a divorce decision
Agent47 Offline

recently joined

Registered: 12/19/10
Posts: 1
I've been married for 17 years and gone through three splits.We are basically together for the kids. Our relationship is not totally trashed we get along. The truth is back in 2007 my wife told me in an argument that she could get better than me and ever since I look at other women out of curiosity...not just looks but when they talk with me I just get curious. I'm very afraid to stay in this relationship for several reasons. 1. I'm not all that attacted to her anymore intellectually and sometimes physically. 2. The fact that we split up three times tells me to get out and be happy. 3. There are financial consequences. 4. I know I will be lonely but I have been in this relationship already. I'm prepared I've been out on my own during the splits the longest was six months, like I said we got back toegether for the kids and mostly her wanting me back...I got married at 23 and that was a dumb decision.5. I didn't marry my "dream girl" and several have told me that was my mistake. I didn't know what I wanted and apparently got married for the wrong reasons. my biggest complaint is the forever part of being married I just can't see myself with her the rest of my life...I'm essentially 41 I will be in January...Now that I'm older and really tried my best I've made my decision again now it's just a matter of getting finances in order and getting away from this stuck relationship and that is what it is I have felt "stuck" for the longest and that hurts deeply.I love my kids but I just can't do this anymore forever is too long to live with what she said and ever since that day I have been confused. I asked why she said that she told me she didn't know. she always talks about guys at her work that make six figures and there wives don't have to work which makes me feel like she still comparing me to others.
I plan on talking to her after the holidays I have to go with her on small vacation of which I could care less to go with her as we hardly ever have fun anymore doing anything and I have to bite my tounge most of the time to keep from arguing. The sex is not so bad except there are times alot of times she is lazy and that she been talked to about that already. So I just thought I would vent a little in case someone is in similiar situation. I don't think family will be shocked to see me move out again but this time it will be final. I think I've tried my best and starting over at 41 is scary but I think I can do it. I'm still fairly handsome or so most tell me so maybe finding someone won't be to hard but moreover I'm not really looking for anybody and I truly don't know what I want in a woman other than respect and someone that doesn't look at $$$ and my wife was told that I could support her on my measily 75k which is not that bad. she makes 55k for being an admin assistant but apparently that ain't good enough so I'm out!!!!peace to all. Any advice is well taken god bless humanity. It's not just money that causes the issues it' really about respect which can take a lifetime to earn and two seconds to loose.

#688078 - 01/31/11 11:43 PM Re: I keep coming back to a divorce decision [Re: Agent47]
zramzram Offline

recently joined

Registered: 01/31/11
Posts: 2
Wow, I can't believe you have had 147 views, yet no one has responded. I don't even know you, but am sorry for your situation. Divorce sucks. Being in a marrigae with someone you are not in love with sucks. Working through all the legalities of a divorce, child support, visitation, education, etc., sucks. ((sorry, I just posted my own questions and am feeling a bit frustrated myself))
Good luck to you in your journey!

#688079 - 07/06/11 03:00 PM Re: I keep coming back to a divorce decision [Re: zramzram]
jsmooth23 Offline

recently joined

Registered: 07/06/11
Posts: 1
No matter how settled on the matter you are, divorce is going to be very difficult for you and for the whole family. Yes your wife has said some terrible and stupid things. I'd suggest giving it one more shot and really trying to connect with her again. Go on a few dates and try to make sure that she has a good time. Go out of your way to do something nice for her. It's human nature, but if you try to do something nice for someone, they will usually reciprocate. I've seen several marriages that thought they were beyond the point of no return saved this way.


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