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#746132 - 03/23/12 06:00 AM I am totally ruining my life
mistakeprone Offline

recently joined

Registered: 03/23/12
Posts: 1
I really do not know what to do next. I have been married to my wife for over 12 years. I have done some really selfish/dumb things and now she is asking for a divorce. My first mistake was gambling. To compound the issue, I would lie to her. After a while, I really did not know what the truth is any more. Whenever, she confronts me, instead of admitting my mistake, I go on an offensive attack. This of course make her feels even worse eventhough I was the problem. next come dating sites. I really do not know why I visited them. I do know that the girls from other countries are not real but for some reason, they make me feel good about myself. I do know that they just want money because they would say thing like I love you after only chatting for 10 minutes or so BUT IT STILL MAKE ME FEEL GOOD. I know that I will never sexually cheat on my wife but she is correct in saying that is still cheating. Next come [censored] or preporn. I will watch some of the movies on movie channels. She has told me before that she does not want me to do this. But I am so dumb that I still look at these movies. I would feel very guilty and would switch the channel in a few minutes but I still has strong desire to watch.
I know that she deserves this divorce. Unfortunately, we have 2 kids. I am afraid that I would act so immature that the kids would be affected. I really do not know what to do. should we just announce the divorce and move out. Ideally I would be more mature and stay in the house so that the kids will not suffer but I do not trust myself. every time I see her, my body go numb and I have to sit down. I know that my tendency is to attack when i am hurt and I am so afraid that I can not control my emotion. I guess I know what to do but just feel so bad that I need to talk to someone for advise.

#746133 - 03/24/12 06:24 AM Re: I am totally ruining my life [Re: mistakeprone]
finz Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/17/08
Posts: 6756
Have you considered individual and marriage counseling ?

#746134 - 03/28/12 09:18 PM Re: I am totally ruining my life [Re: mistakeprone]
Gecko Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 20602
Loc: Third rock from the sun
You need to say these things to her.

You need to apologize to here. Be specific about what you are apologizing for and do NOT use the word 'if'. You KNOW what you did, be a man and accept responsibility.

YOU need counseling...for the gambling, p0rn and anger management. Make an appointment ASAP.

Get rid of the premium movie channels and put a lock on anything rate "R". Have your wife enter the pin.

If you want to save your need to 'walk the walk' and 'talk the talk'. You can ask for another chance, but be prepared for her to NOT give on. Let her know that you are seeking professional help for gambling, p0rn and anger management.
If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!


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