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#750391 - 06/23/12 08:38 PM Re: i have no one to talk to [Re: Debi]
MEBlack Offline

recently joined

Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 10
LEAVE!! GET OUT!! GO NOW!! YOUR HUSBAND IS A LYING, EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE CHEATER. YOU CAN'T SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE...IT TAKES 2 PEOPLE TO MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK!! I am sorry to be so BLUNT, but I am trying to save you from 1 more day of YOU giving him anymore of YOU!! You will NEVER move forward, as long as you stay in a marriage where your giving everything &amp; he's giving nothing but lies!! Believe me I know. My husband, while we were in marriage counseling just to make our marriage stronger...Lied, Cheated, Stole $, Verbally/Emotionally abused me, Used me &amp; then left with NO WARNING, NO EXPLANATION! Now he is living with someone &amp; it only took him 2mos after he left. My husband NEVER told me he wasn't happy, he didn't know what he wanted...He was always 100% about our marriage, his vows etc; ALL LIES!! Your Husband is giving you "clues" because he's not strong enough to tell you the truth. YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG!! You DON'T deserve to live like you are, neither do your children. I'm sure your children know a lot more than you or your husband think they know. Show your children, that it's not acceptable to treat a woman this way &amp; as a woman you will NOT live like this...It's DISRESPECTFUL! Please let me know what your thoughts are?? STAY STRONG!!

#750392 - 07/01/12 02:47 PM Re: i have no one to talk to [Re: devastatedjn]
BethB Offline

recently joined

Registered: 07/01/12
Posts: 1
Your story sounds just like mine. I've been married for 13 years and I suffer from depression too. My husband is texting some woman across the country and he told me he had feelings for her. He use to work with her when we were station in Jacksonville, FL.

So he could have been physical with this woman. I don't wanna know. He has been talking to her for 7 years. This makes me angry and hurt.

I am NOT in-love anymore with my husband but, I still have feelings for him. I want to work it out but, he doesn't. I also have no one to talk too. I have few friends but, not alot and none very close anymore(my husband was my best friend) and I am not close to my family. My sister and I are close but she lives far away. I talk to her maybe once a week. My mom died 2 years ago and I am still griving for her. She would be the person I would turn to in this time of pain.

Ohhh you wanna know what really is bad...Is I still live with my husband.

My name is Beth btw...and I am brand new to this group.

#750393 - 08/21/12 04:28 AM Re: i have no one to talk to [Re: Debi]
episkopos Offline

recently joined

Registered: 05/12/12
Posts: 5
Loc: Ghana
Your dear husband clearly is dissatisfied about something in the marriage and refusing to talk about it. Try to get him to share it with you otherwise, you can talk to someone you both respect and listen to. Save your marriage now.

#750394 - 12/08/12 07:14 PM Re: i have no one to talk to [Re: episkopos]
1234km Offline

Registered: 05/04/08
Posts: 443
MEBLACK, I don't know how the hell you got emotionally abusive from the posts, but you can't just go around labeling something as serious as that, especially when the poster never said anything remotely close to emotional abuse.

#750395 - 12/12/12 12:13 AM Re: i have no one to talk to [Re: Debi]
Anything4Love Offline


Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 76
Loc: Virginia
If you really want to save your marriage, you've got to try and find out what is missing in your marriage that compelled your spouse to stray, and do what you can to rectify those problems. Barring that, the chances are not good. Having reached this point, it's clear your spouse will not live with the status quo.

#750396 - 01/06/15 11:46 AM Re: i have no one to talk to [Re: Debi]
Vroooom Offline

recently joined

Registered: 01/06/15
Posts: 9
Well by now you know a lot more, but if things are still in limbo, I have a few things to add. Men typically will not leave a relationship until they are SURE they have someone waiting for them. It could be he doesn't know what he wants because the OW is not sure what she wants. In that case, you may have some time. I would be kind and civil to him on the home front, but because of his actions in the marriage, if he wants you, he needs to WIN you back. I would go about rebuilding my life right under his nose. As hard as it might be, do things that are healthy for you. Try some things you have always wanted to try but just haven't made time for. Don't take responsibility for him or his actions, and don't make him responsible for yours. Try not to be too affected by what he does or doesn't do. When you are negatively affected, journal about it instead of contending with him. Go to dinner with friends. Take up a hobby, go horse back riding, start a swimming class, find a support group, make a new friend. Ultimately, you are responsible for your own happiness. Take charge of it as best you can within the bounds of marriage. If you have a faith, talk with your clergy. Try to carve out a way of being an emotionally independent, confident woman. And let it be known you will not take his crap ever again, and make him show it in ACTIONS. As a rule of thumb, men use a lot of words with women because they know it can get them somewhere with them. But, when men deal with men, they all sort of know that words don't mean much of anything, and it is actions that matter. So, for that bit, think like a man. Watch and judge him by his actions, not his words. It seems to me the risk is worth taking to try to save your relationship. If it succeeds, it might be stronger than ever before, if it fails, at least you know you left no stone unturned in trying to save the relationship. I feel for you. My ex left me for a younger woman and he divorced me. It is not an easy thing to pass through. But, I am a stronger and better person now than before it happened.

#750397 - 01/06/15 07:51 PM Re: i have no one to talk to [Re: Vroooom]
BeachBabeRN Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 01/17/06
Posts: 3236
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
Original post greater than 2 years ago....

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