As far as I know, your remarriage shouldn't affect the pension payments. The pension is a divisable asset, you are just getting your 'share.' If you were also receiving spousal support (alimony) payments from your ex, many divorce settlements will call for those payments to end upon remarriage.
I'm guessing the "worth more dead than alive" comment might have referenced life insurance (which can be purchased by an individual or frequently, an employer). It could have been a reference to his pension plus social security plus assets plus life insurance. Who knows ? Ask the attorney if you want to know what he meant.
I am guessing that you wouldn't get your ex's WHOLE pension if he passed away. If this was divided with a QDRO, I would think he'd leave any cash value left in his share to someone he wanted to provide for more than an ex wife. Again, you should ask your lawyer that.