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#766484 - 02/22/14 01:51 AM HELP. This is a little weird. Long read
darkhorse Offline

recently joined

Registered: 02/22/14
Posts: 3
Divorce was settled in September 2013, Separation was little over a year ago when I left. Ex is a full blown narcissist and just outright an idiot.
He owes me $1250 from last years taxes and Child Support. CS is over $500, so it's getting yanked from his tax return if he gets one at all. He makes well over $44K/yr while living at home with mommy and daddy. He owes child support because he just outright refused to pay it until he got a contempt of court charge.
I was a student and only made just under $11K. This year I will gross about $20k; classes are now online so I don't miss work.
The custody agreement was signed off on in November 2013. The tax agreement is: I claim the oldest boy (who is not biologically my ex's) and ex claims the dependency for the second child (is his biologically). I get head of household/EIC. I am the custodial parent officially.
I let my attorney off because the case was over and I'm trying to save what I can.
Ex keeps having his atty email me instead of even remotely trying to communicate with me directly, as is required per court order. His attorney has made some nasty threats to me in person, saying he will rip my children from me if I didn't agree to his terms. WELL. That totally worked out.. NOT!

With that being said, let's get down to business.
I got yet another email from his atty the other day. They want to renege on the agreements already.

I talked to a couple unbiased tax preparers who feel he is only trying to basically pay his debts with tax money I would have gotten on my own, and then some. All the while avoiding his tax liabilities (obvious). Both said I should send his emails to the BARR and file a complaint for harassment. There have been a few emails back and forth just plainly DEMANDing I tell them where my new job is (not necessary, or ordered in court; Ex has history of trespassing at my work place to harass and stalk) and now about the taxes. There has been no change in circumstances, so I don't see why the magistrate would even consider allowing another hearing just a few months after agreeing to this one. My ex has also been found guilty on a charge for opening my paycheck just after I left him. His prints were on the inside of the envelope. It was mailed right after I left and it was too late to intercept. He was obsessed with knowing my income; said I was lying all the time about it after I left. I left because he suddenly became violent and threatened to kill me if I left him. He just doesn't want me to be happy when he is "losing". He's angry he got ordered to pay child support and didn't rip my children from me like he swore he would. I told him in the beginning he wouldn't win. Between domestic abuse and work schedules, no way a court would agree to his terms. The judge straight up said "You do realize that if we go along with your idea, those kids would never be raised by either parent?! I agree with the mother's offer. It's actually reasonable". He also lost all respect from the court because he was constantly making outrageous and unproven claims every single time there was a hearing or papers filed. It's a laugh fest. His atty laughing all the way to the bank.

My refund this year is well over $5,000. His atty suggested I sign a form 8332 giving HIM the right to claim BOTH children and then split HIS refund. YEAH RIGHT! He said he would split it last year, but it took 10 months, a lawsuit and a judge threatening jail to settle on $3,900. If he got what he wants (now), he would get $7,500 back because he also claims fraudulent farm deductions and lost farm income every year (a reason I got the [censored] out of dodge!). If you do the math.. And he actually stuck by his "word".. I would get almost a grand less. IF he did exactly as he promises.. to me, its a big ball of BFS and deja vu! This is a guy who sends his kid back home from visits in old, tatty clothing and keeps the new stuff i buy. I'm not one of "those" moms who just gets even. I'll get even in court, not use my kid as a pawn in his game. He said he pays child support so technically all of the kid's stuff is his own because he technically paid for it. NO. The clothing and toys belong to my child.

His atty has tried some seriously dumb things. He's one of those money chasers. Even though he knows doing something is going to [censored] up his client's life and chances, he'll do it instead of giving accurate and sound advice. It's only about getting paid. Most attorney's wouldn't dare do some of the things this guy has. He has a few complaints against him with the bar association and is supposedly being reviewed.


this is a response to your e-mail of Feb. 3. I needed to be
assured that you no longer had a lawyer since attorneys are not allowed to
deal with a person who is represented. It REALLY would be in both EX's and
your best interests to have him claim both children for 2013 and split the
refund and you claim the Earned Income Credit. With less than $10000 in
income for 2013 the exemption is completely wasted for you but would be
worth an extra thousand or so to EX which he could split with you.
Normally a person has to reach at least $15000 or more before an extra
exemption means anything, and even then the differences between Cody's tax
bracket and yours--at least now--gives the two of you the chance to
manipulate who gets to claim the kid and end up with more money , which is
good especially if it's shared. If you have not done your 2013 return yet
try it with and without CHILD's exemption and I think you will see it makes
no bottom line difference. EX filed but can amend easily and claim
CHILD-- there is a form 8332 the IRS needs when the parties are allocating
the exemptions between them. The exemption does not impact your right to the
EIC any year you work and the child or children spend ONE more day with you
than the other parent. I know EX is unlikely to qualify for the EIC so we
would rather you have it than lose it--it's better for the kids to have the
extra money in your home. Please take of this soon or we'll all be back in court which neither of you
can afford or needs.
Thank you for your consideration. [color:"green"] [/color]

#766485 - 02/22/14 04:26 AM Re: HELP. This is a little weird. Long read [Re: darkhorse]
MinnesotaMom Offline

old hand

Registered: 01/05/11
Posts: 880
Because only the CP can claim the EIC, I would guess you would get back far more between your return and 1/2 his.....if he actually paid you.

#766486 - 02/22/14 11:06 PM Re: HELP. This is a little weird. Long read [Re: MinnesotaMom]
darkhorse Offline

recently joined

Registered: 02/22/14
Posts: 3
I don't think he's getting anything back because he made so much more than I thought and can only claim that one dependency without head of household. Even if he did get his way, he would actually only get a couple hundred back. So I'm feeling really good right now. I got additional info after shooting off a slightly nasty email back to his attorney. They sent text messages asking for my private info; instead I stated it wasn't his business what I was getting back and what my w2's look like unless he would share his.

#766487 - 02/23/14 01:31 AM Re: HELP. This is a little weird. Long read [Re: darkhorse]
matilda Offline

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 2142
One, he can't claim his non-biological child unless he has provided more than half of the support. Two, you need to file your taxes QUICKLY because he might try to claim him anyways which would cause problems for you. Basically whoever files first is at advantage. If you file first, you is completely unable to file for non-biological child. If he files first, then you have to provide paper work to IRS and wait for things to be straightened out.

#766488 - 02/27/14 11:49 AM Re: HELP. This is a little weird. Long read [Re: darkhorse]
Goodmom Offline

Registered: 06/17/07
Posts: 2202
Unless your ex legally adopted your older son, he is a legal stranger and has no right to claim him on taxes, especially since he lives with you.

He also has no claim to custody for the older child if not adopted and probably doesn't meet the criteria for a change in custody for the younger one. So let him huff and puff.

Have you heard of no contact? It's where you completely ignore your ex (and his attorney) and only discuss, via e-mails or texts relevant issues about the child you have with him. Since the tax issue is handled with the court order, there is no need to discuss with him or his attorney.

#766489 - 03/01/14 04:26 AM Re: HELP. This is a little weird. Long read [Re: Goodmom]
BeachBabeRN Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 01/17/06
Posts: 3236
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
He can't claim a child that isn't biologically his, as legally he provides no support for that child.

I'd go with the no contact, personally. Makes life less stressful.


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