Was any action ever taken on the filing of the divorce? Is there a signed order of temporary divorce? If you filed and no action was taken then typically after a year the case is dismissed by the clerk of the court.
Did you pay an attorney to file? If an attorney filed and no action was taken beyond the filing and you paid $4000 my first question would be where the heck is my refund from the attorney and if it is the case that the attorney filed and no other action was taken then the attorney can refile with the money he/she held onto for the last two years. It does not cost $4000 to simply file for a divorce. If you hemmed and hawed and call the attorney repeatedly and used up the $4000 in that manner then you will need to get another attorney (or use the same one) and refile unless you do it all yourself. If you do it all yourself then use the papers you filed before as a template to fill out the new papers and file them.
Check online to see if the divorce petition you filed was dismissed for lack of action and go from there.
Are you talking about neglecting the children or neglecting you; your spouse sitting around in a recliner all evening, even if you could prove it, is not going to be enough to prove neglect for either you or the children. Is there a child involved?