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#769751 - 04/14/15 04:16 PM Am I paying too much?
MansharpensMan Offline

recently joined

Registered: 04/14/15
Posts: 1
So I am currently going through a divorce with my wife of 11 years. We have two kids together ages 7 and 5. I am in the Navy as an E-7 and stationed in San Diego. She currently lives in Missouri with both of my kids. We filed for divorce here in San Diego, California. Her parents paid for her an attorney and I could not afford one. Our divorce is close to becoming a contested case. I get paid $6314 per month take home. This includes my base pay, BAH, BAS, Sea Pay. My wife and her attorney are asking for and will not budge on her receiving $3600 per month. That's $2270 in child support for both kids and $1330 per month in spousal support. That leaves me with $2714 per month. I have a car she left me which is $568 per month that I am upside down in by $8000. I have a credit card she left me which I owe $16,000 and another one for $7000. All together with just my car, insurance, and credit card bills I owe $1220 per month. That leaves me with $1494 a month to find an apartment (in San Diego) pay for water, sewer, gas and electric, renters insurance, and food.

My problem is, since we were married over 10 years, she has asked for and will not budge on me paying permanent spousal support. I believe the wording of the settlement paperwork said, "until she gets married, she dies, or I die". It is very hard to live on such a small amount of money. I just want to know if this is the "norm". She lives in Missouri getting a $3600 paycheck a month. That is an insane amount of money considering the cost of living there is so much cheaper than here. I just don't know how I'm going to be able to live once I'm off the ship and I won't have the ship to sleep on anymore. Can anyone give me advice please or at least tell me it's a normal amount to pay so I can get over my anger with her? Thanks in advance.

#769752 - 04/15/15 12:29 AM Re: Am I paying too much? [Re: MansharpensMan]
Redlegg Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 10/06/06
Posts: 27903
Yeah, I would not agree to this. What you get paid is subject to change, but her support is not. While you are separated, you are required to support her at a certain level, as directed by the navy, unless there is a court order changing that amount. Your retirement pay is subject to division, unless it is stated in the decree that she is not taking it. She wants that support, and then, after the decree is finalized what is to stop her from going after the division of retirement, as property. Use a child support calculator, for where you filed, to determine the amount of CS. The formula is the formula is the formula. Hard to argue the CS, but the support, yeah, I would be contesting this. It will be worth it, over the long run, to make payments to a lawyer, and have them stop one day, as opposed to paying the ex for the rest of your life.

#769753 - 04/18/15 11:57 AM Re: Am I paying too much? [Re: MansharpensMan]
MinnesotaMom Offline

old hand

Registered: 01/05/11
Posts: 880
CA calculates child support and alimony by a formula called the dissoMaster. I don't know if the figures are accurate or not.

As for expenses, including credit cards, car payments, ect., they are not used in the calculation. However, all your debt will be split. It appears you are taking on all of it.

CA does award lifetime alimony with marriages over 10 years, but just to those that are well off, or are to old to be expected to retrain to work.

If your ex is early 40's or younger and not disabled, she won't get lifetime alimony. A more typical award is 1/2 the length of the marriage. What is is her work and education history?

You need an attorney yesterday.


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