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#769833 - 05/08/15 12:54 AM Backwards Military Divorce
kale Offline

recently joined

Registered: 05/08/15
Posts: 1
So this is my Issue

I retired a couple of years ago after 22 years in the Army. I'm the Wife. I relocated and took a great job! FF, my Husband who is currently still in the Army 22 years, Active Duty in another country on TDY, reaped the rewards of my success. He had plenty of money. I bought and paid off an RV and Jeep for him. I also funded His excessive spending.He is living in Co, I in Md.
Long and behold I surprise myself and him with a visit. You know the rest, I find the trac phone the girl wawawa.. I call the command Report him, as he was seeing someone, that lets say was close to the unit and should have known better. Command places DNC order against Him. he is not allowed to have contact with Boo Boo Kitty.
It was the Holidays, I asked him to come out and visit,I figured a settlement statement was in order.I had filed for a divorce. Grounds being Adultery. I Wanted to just be done. Well after a little wine and dine, what can I say. I now became the other Woman. I couldn't wait to take pictures lol.. No i didn't.. Oh, about a month or so passes by. He goes TDY to Germany. he calls and informs me he has a lawyer. I was a little confused. I was thinking marriage counseling, God, Forgiveness. No, He informed me that in Md, that if you file for a divorce and the grounds are Adultery and you sleep with the Spouse after this, Adultery is no longer on the table. In Md its gone. you now just get a divorce with no grounds. He let me know He only came out to try to sleep with me so his new lady would not be caught in a court trial. He did not Love or want me. I was to never contact him again. To go thru His Lawyer. He immediately cut off the Money,the credit cards, revoked all POAs. He told me I have enough money, and don't need His. He did not only dump me by email from another country, cut me off financially, break my heart, now He wants alimony from me. I do make Twice as much as he does. We were married for 7 years, I have kids in College, not His.
So now that I feel like a complete fool and forgot to read the Md law before I lost myself in the moment, I now may have to pay for my heartbreak as well? I hear folks tell me to call the command, bring him back to the US. Call and tell them what? I was an idiot and he dumped me? What responsibility does he have to me? Im being told that He has to support His family while He is gone. I don't think the command can really do anything for Him being an [censored]. If anyone has any thoughts or ideas, I'd love to hear them. I hate to think I will loose everything I have worked for. It seems he has all the cards and I have nothing. Any thoughts?

#769834 - 05/09/15 08:58 PM Re: Backwards Military Divorce [Re: kale]
MinnesotaMom Offline

old hand

Registered: 01/05/11
Posts: 879
Why would you be thinking there would be marriage counseling after you filed for divorce?

I'm not sure what you mean by he cut off the money and needs to support you, when you also state you make twice as much as him.

Will you lose everything? No. Will you have to pay alimony? You might, but it wouldn't be for all that long.

What does your attorney say about what your situation?

#769835 - 05/10/15 12:32 AM Re: Backwards Military Divorce [Re: MinnesotaMom]
Sherron Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 11/25/06
Posts: 20729
"I'm not sure what you mean by he cut off the money and needs to support you, when you also state you make twice as much as him."

Maybe it's a military thing.

#769836 - 07/17/15 09:20 PM Re: Backwards Military Divorce [Re: Sherron]
TJMH Offline


Registered: 07/17/15
Posts: 349
I'd definitely advise talking to an attorney, it doesn't sound like you're very familiar with the applicable laws.

And I'd also advise that you make a conscious effort to separate the emotional aspects of the divorce from the legal aspects. The emotional part can be really hard, but if you let it intrude on the legal part it makes both parts much, much harder. The legal part is really just business, try to keep it that way.

If he hasn't already filed in Maryland and he's domiciled in Colorado you might see if you can file there--Colorado is a no fault state so you don't need grounds.


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