Start Your Divorce Today - Premium Divorce Online

Topic Options
#770821 - 10/14/15 12:08 AM Letting children choose their living arrangements?
ThatChic Offline

recently joined

Registered: 10/14/15
Posts: 2
Stbx and I have four kids - ages 8 to 15. We are telling them about the divorce in two weeks, the kids and I will move out two weeks after that.

We are currently at an impasse about a living schedule. In that I want to set one, he wants to let them choose and come and go as they please.

I think they will benefit from the structure of knowing where they're going to live and when, and will have less stress if they don't have to figure out who/when/how often/etc. to choose, especially in the beginning when their world turns upside down.

He is adamant that he will not "force" his kids to be somewhere they do not want to be. He thinks it should be entirely up to them who they live with and when they want to live with the other parent, if at all.

He readily acknowledges that doing things his way means that they will likely not live with him much.Yet he still insists he wants to do it this way.

I feel a GREAT deal of anxiety about putting this on the kids. I don't see it as giving them freedom. Not in the beginning. I see it as giving them a burden, the burden of having to navigate this choice emotionally when they are reeling from the news.

But...I am open to hearing that I am wrong. And I don't know how I would be able to implement a set schedule if he's dead set against it. So I either have to persuade him to give my way a go, or find a way to make his way work in a way that's emotionally healthy for the kids.

So has anyone let their kids choose? How did it go? Would you do it again? Tips, tricks, advice?

Has anyone had to resolve conflict with an ex over whether or not to use a set schedule? How did you accomplish that?

#770822 - 11/02/15 08:23 PM Re: Letting children choose their living arrangements? [Re: ThatChic]
ptm Offline

recently joined

Registered: 10/27/15
Posts: 5
My teenagers do that per the court order and it gives them lots of room to manipulate both parents. I have not liked this situation. If they dont want to come they dont


Resources & Tools
Start Your Divorce Online Start Your Divorce
Several Options to Get Started Today.
Divorce Tools Online Divorce Tools
Keeping it Simple to Get the Job Done.
Divorce Downloads Download Center
Instantly Download Books, Guides & Forms.
Divorce and Custody Books Discount Books
Over 100 of the Best Divorce & Custody Books.
Negotiate Online Negotiate Online
Settle your Divorce and Save.
Custody and Support Tracking Custody Scheduling
Make Sure You Document Everything.

Easily Connect With a Lawyer or Mediator
Have Divorce Professionals from Your Area Contact You!
Enter Your Zip Code: