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#771269 - 01/07/16 06:42 PM Is it bad to hate your mom?
TwoCanSam Offline

recently joined

Registered: 01/07/16
Posts: 3
I am so disgusted with my mother right now, I honestly donít care if I ever see her again! And so my rant beginsÖ.warningÖ.this is long.

In 2011, my parents got a divorce. I was only 14 years old at the time. Immediately my mother started talking so much [censored] about my dad. That he was cruel and heartless, that he cared nothing for us, that he left us all and couldnít care whether we lived or died. That because of him we would be homeless and living on the street under a cardboard box within a few months. I mean, she really went to town on us. When I say us, I also have a sister who was 18 at the time and a brother who was only 8 at the time. She literally scared us to death! I was frightened so bad that I got really depressed, couldnít sleep or eat, and got pretty sick. I mean really?!?! You tell us all week long how disgusting and vile our father is and how much he hates us and then you send us over to stay with him every other weekend??? Whatever!

During all of this, she moved us out of our family home and purchased a new home that was just built, bought a new truck, bought all new furniture for the new house, and took herself on a shopping spree for all new clothes and makeup. I didnít put the pieces together then, but looking back it just kinda make you want to say ďHm?Ē We went from home cooked meals to either eating out or pizza delivery every night of the week. So dad is the one who is going to make us homeless huh? I didnít know this at the time, but on top of all the child support and monthly alimony he was paying her, he was also giving her extra money on the side for help with us kids. Apparently she would complain that she couldnít buy new shoes for us, or a new winter coat for me, or whatever, and he would just give her the extra money to get them. He would even write her blank checks to take me shopping for things I needed. She of course never told us that. Every single year since then, my dad has been the one to take us back to school shopping for clothes, shoes, accessories, school supplies, you name it. He is by no means loaded, but he saves up for this and makes sure we have all that we need and want. And every single year when we come home, mom tells us that he is only doing this out of guilt and is trying to buy our love. Talk about a kill joy.

Anyway, she is awfully hard to get along with and a horrible person to live with. Since the divorce, her house is a pig sty. I am by nature a very clean and organized person. Maybe itís my OCD, but everything must have a place and be put there. She is a pig and it drives me insane! And no, thatís not just my OCD talking. I actually counted once how long she would let the house go without being vacuumed. 78 days! And she has 1 dog, 3 cats, 2 mice, a hamster, and fish. Thatís just plain sick!

So, 3 months after my older sister graduated high school, my mom kicked her out. Literally for no reason other than they just couldnít get along. My sister didnít do anything wrong, there was no big fight, there wasnít anything, she just told her one day that she needed to find another place to live, that she couldnít support her anymore. So she went to live with my dad. Great. Thatís one less person to help clean up this pig sty. Oh, and by the way, since my older sister was now living with my dad, the child support he was paying for her should have stopped, but because he felt bad for her and wanted to be a nice guy, he continued to pay her for a child he was now fully supporting in his own house! None of us were told this at the time of course. Just what a monster he was.

So, mom lost the house because she couldnít make the mortgage payments. But of course we were still able to go out to eat all the time and buy new coach purses for her, a new ipad for her, and another new truck, Ö. Seriously. Not exaggerating at all. So we moved into a rental house that was in a different school system. Wonderful. I hate her.

When I turned 16, I just couldnít stand it any longer and asked if I could go live with my dad. She was pissed that I would even consider it. She guilted me and told me she would lose child support because of me, told me I was an ungrateful brat and just wanted to live with him because he has more money. She told me that her and my younger brother would now be homeless because of how selfish I am. And just when her mind games had started working and I was going to stay with her out of guilt, she kicked me out!!! I came home from school one day and all my stuff was thrown into boxes and she was loading up the car to take me to my dads. I begged her to let me stay and finish out the school year. (he lives an hour away, another new school) I literally only had two weeks of school left. She would have nothing of it. Off I went to my dads. Whatever. Peace at last.

Let me tell you this was the best decision ever. I love it here. My dad is re-married, I have two step siblings here, the house is always clean, there is no fighting, no talking bad about the other parent, I get home cooked meals, we do fun things together as a family, we do fun weekend trips, we play board games, we do crafts together, and they give me so much support! We donít have a ton of money, but we do have a ton of fun. There is love in this house. And my dad and stepmom donít spend money on stupid things, or things for themselves, they save their money for family things, oh and important things like paying bills! Ha! My sister got married and we had a wonderful wedding, I graduated High School and am now in college here locally, I have a great job, a hot boyfriend going on two years now, I mean, I really love it here! It is so night and day that I really feel sorry for my little brother who is stuck living with her. He loves his weekends here too and gets really sad when itís time to go home. Oh, and by the way, the whole time I have lived here with my dad, over two years now, my mom has asked to see me on the weekend only 3 times. I had originally thought that once I moved in with him, that I would stay with her every other weekend like I did with my dad when I lived with her. But No. In a two year period, she has only asked to see me 3 times!

Anyway, so here is where it gets sticky. When I moved in with my dad, my mother begged him not to take her back to court and lower the child support. She told him the same thing she told me, that she would be homeless without it. He didnít want to see his son suffer, but he didnít want to keep paying the full amount for all three of us when only one of us was still living with her. They worked out some kind of arrangement that they both agreed upon where he would pay her a few hundred dollars less per month. I actually just went and checked the online child support calculator and once I moved in with him more than two years ago, he should have only been paying her $116 a month in child support since he was supporting me in his home. Iím not sure how much he is paying in alimony still, I think it was $1,000 per month and I doubt that has changed because she told me once that she would get alimony until she re-married (HA! Fat chance of that ever happening!), but I did see one of the child support checks a few months ago laying on the counter and it was for $800.00!!!! Really!?!?! My dad is being way too nice and quite honestly, he is being suckered.

She seriously spends money on ridiculous stuff! Hereís an example. We went on a trip to do some big city sightseeing on a hot day in July and my brother and I were so thirsty. We asked if we could get some bottled water and she said no, that she couldnít afford it, but then literally 10 minutes later she walked into a boutique for plus size women and bought 2 pants and 3 blouses! She spent $130+ on herself, but couldnít buy us a 99 cent water!?!?!?! She yelled at me when I questioned her about it and then walked into a Verizon store and bought a new headset for her cell phone!!! I mean seriously, she is insane! And it was like this all the time!!!!

She is so irresponsible it drives me crazy! After she lost the first home she bought, she got kicked out of the rental home due to her filth. (that was about the time I moved in with my dad) She moved her and my little brother into an apartment after I left, which was another new school for him, couldnít get along with the neighbors, so she moved out of there and into her boyfriendís house about 6 hours away from my dad (and into another new school for my brother) which made it really hard for him to drive there every other weekend to pick up my brother. And God forbid she get off her lazy duff and help drive him halfway. Nope. So my dad and stepmom were driving 12 hours every other weekend, just so we could see my brother. Then my mom and BF got into a fight and she moved back out into another apartment closer to where she was living before, but yes, another new school system for my brother. I mean COME ON! This women is so unstable and ridiculous I could just scream!!!!

Anyway, I am getting off on a tangent, this is the kicker: My mother is now suing my dad for two yearsí worth of unpaid support for me and my older sister (ya know, the one who is married!!!). I guess they were supposed to go back to court and have the amount changed and because they never did, she is suing him for the difference in the amounts. My dad was given notice the Monday after Christmas. Can you believe this!!!! After all he has done for her! My dad hasnít really talked to me about it, but I hear him and my stepmom talking to their attorney and preparing receipts and stuff, and I am just so mad. They said she will most likely win and I think that is just wrong. How could she win? He has overpaid her by far and been so generous with her it just makes me sick!

She is an evil, black hearted monster and I honestly wish they would just take my brother away from her and let him live with us.

So, that is my rant. I donít know what I am looking for here. Maybe some advice? Words of wisdom? Understanding?
I just needed to tell someone. My dad and stepmom refuse to talk about her with me even though I am an adult now. I just need to talk about this with someone.

#771270 - 03/05/16 06:18 AM Re: Is it bad to hate your mom? [Re: TwoCanSam]
DivorceSux Offline

recently joined

Registered: 03/05/16
Posts: 2
Hi TwoCan, my heart breaks when I read stories like this. I know this is a bit late but if you are still in need of someone to talk to please post a reply.


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