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#771497 - 02/24/16 03:20 AM Confused, wife is different and wants time apart
danny11 Offline

recently joined

Registered: 02/24/16
Posts: 1
So its been 3 months when hell started, We been married about 10 years been together a total of 22 years we got together young I'm 38 she's 35.

we have one 10 year old child, so about 4 months ago she started a new job and the pay was very good, myself i pretty much stay home and invest in property but i don't go to an office so lets say i work from home. We never had abuse in our relationship we never had money problems, our home is paid off as well as other rental properties we own.

The schedule at her new job is kinda crazy she wakes up at 3 a.m. and gets off at
2 P.M. so she is always tired naps a lot and goes to bed around 8 p.m. some times earlier.

I think thats where the disconnection started she just got more into work as 1-2 months passed i notice she was being so different very distant, she told me she felt strange as if she was depressed i didn't think much of it figure it would pass two weeks later I'm picking at it again irritated by the lack of emotion towards me at this point i notice she's trying but it seems forced, sex was good the first week of december but after that it went down and now there is no sex.

I have had issues with controlling to what extent well i didn't think it was bad but she has told me its the little things and she feels a little resentment, With all this she hits me with she needs space of course my first reaction is to be mad WTF do you mean space your at work all the time you want more space.. I wasn't understanding at all I'm not an idiot need space means either your having an affair or want to have one and on rare occasions they actually do need space.

I got mad but backed off a week later I'm picking at it again and she says the same thing she thinks something is wrong she feels different, so i get suspicious i start thinking the new job changed her since we seem to be fine before it, right away i think she met someone at the job, SHE SWEARS thats not true. there is not change in her schedule there isn't nothing odd i went threw both her phones nothing suspicious and i have confronted her about 30 times about someone else to the point that she's over the edge past annoyed and frustrated in our marriage.

I know i have handled this like an idiot i honestly didn't know what to do but panic as many who get hit with i need space, now i got my [censored] together but its too late were gonna seperate or as she says TAKE A BREAK to better ourselfs.

I put our main house on the market as a scare tactic and can you believe it sold in 1 day WOW, she was a little upset but never said hey lets fix the relationship together don't sell the house, so now I'm moving me and my daughter are moving to another state and she's moving in to her moms. 5 months ago we were gonna move together and everything was fine! her new job changed it all. what pushed her over the edge who knows.

All this has happen in a matter of 2 months and the initial change happen about 3-4 months ago, i have asked her lets fix our issues together i have offered to go to counseling she's declined everything, she says she doesn't want to lose her family but she needs to be herself by herself she says she feels I've controlled our whole lifes and she just wants some time to be herself.

She says she needs to feel that she misses me and that she can't live without me,but I'm just thinking damn is it even possible your gonna feel that way.

So i guess we separate and just hope we miss each other enough to want to reconcile, i have did all research and i am certain there is no other man will there be one soon maybe i don't know.

Strange thing is she wants nothing! no money no homes she's taking her new car which i just bought her in november and a few things and a checking account that only has like 7k in it. As far as my daughter, me and her have a super bond so we decided she comes with me.

WHAT IS GOING ON? i know first thing to think is she's having an affair of some sort... but when? ive tracked all her time checked all her phones, gps her location 2-4 times a day and yes i know its like being a stalker and trust me i was never like this but she just has pushed me to believe anything can be going on.

So on March 12 2016 I'm leaving with my daughter a good amount of cash and a uhual, to relocate to another state and the wifes not coming.

On valentines she told via text, with all that is happening I'm realizing how much i love you, then she said once you and my daughter leave i don't think i will last long and i will follow. the gave me hope but nothing changed still distant still needs space.

anyone? advice? what does the future hold for me, I'm not dumb and I'm not leaving with high hopes I'm trying to tell myself its over i don't want to set myself up for failure. At this point i can't even bring up the subject because she just so frustrated talking about the same thing...she tells me all she need is a little time she says she's done everything I've asked for 22 years can i just give her a little time.

And yes we been together for every year and almost everyday never did much of anything separate, to be honest i can use space too but i don't want nothing to screw up the family.

#771498 - 02/24/16 04:35 AM Re: Confused, wife is different and wants time apart [Re: danny11]
TJMH Offline


Registered: 07/17/15
Posts: 349
I'd recommend finding marital counseling ASAP.

What you describe sounds salvageable but it sounds like you're both backed so far into your corners that I don't think you'll find your way out by yourselves.


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