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#771546 - 03/05/16 02:55 PM Likelyhood of getting custody of my children
BurnedOut43 Offline

recently joined

Registered: 03/05/16
Posts: 2
I have been in a marriage for 15 years that has turned out to be a sham from the start. Only months after getting married I find out that my new wife hid 25,000 in debt from a previous marriage. We were newly married with a baby on the way, so I bit the bullet and stayed in the marriage and eventually paid off the debt over the next 7 years. My wife had a good job when I married her, and she told me she was a social worker, had a degree. I made a lot more than her, but she was contributing and that was ok. After our first child was born she stayed home for two years, and I had to push her to go back to work, which she finally did. Eight years later, we had our second child. Again, she stayed home for two years and when I started pushing her to go back to work, she was not too willing. I later found out that she did not want to go back to her old job, because the probably would not take her. See - they found out she did not have the college degree she said she had and had only gotten the job because her friend was the Director of the non-profit. When I questioned her on this she finally admitted that she never graduated from college and she had lied to me. She finally got an hourly wage job paying $18K a year. I wasn't happy but it was better than her sitting home. She has had constant medical ailments since we got married, which I have later learned from her family has been common since she was a teenager. She suffers from depression and has an eating disorder. Last year she tried to commit suicide by drowning herself in the tub. Luckily I came home and found her and was able to revive her. I put my foot down and told her if she did not go for treatment our marriage was over. She went to an inpatient program for 3 weeks and then the insurance company forced her into a day treatment program. She was going downhill in the day treatment program and they were going to recommend she reenter a inpatient program. Due to this recommendation she overdosed on depression medication and pain killers. Luckily from my prior training I could tell something was wrong with her, called an ambulance and got her to the emergency room. She was in the hospital for 4 days under 24 hour supervision. She then was able to get her self discharged under the condition she would return to the day treatment program. She never did and has refused to get any help for her depression or eating disorder for over 10 months. My kids are both in school now, however she just sits at home, does very little, has not interest in our marriage.

I have reached the point of breaking. I have encouraged her over the past 10 months to get help, but she refuses. She doctor shops to get depression medication and also has pain killer issues (over 40 oxycodone pills per month)

I want to ask her to leave, but she has no job or family in the area. Our home is in my name and was mine prior to our marriage. The deed is solely in my name.

I would we willing to give her joint custody if she seeks help for her issues, however since she does not get any help and has tried to take her life twice in the past twelve months, I would like to get full custody of my kids.

What are my chances?

#771547 - 03/06/16 04:26 AM Re: Likelyhood of getting custody of my children [Re: BurnedOut43]
MinnesotaMom Offline

old hand

Registered: 01/05/11
Posts: 859
You really need to talk to an attorney to see what the prevailing attitude is in your local court. There are many reasons from what you wrote where you should have custody with her having very limited supervised parenting time only. However, the fact that she stays at home and is their primary caretaker works against you. An opposing attorney would argue that since you leave the kids with her, she must not be unsafe.


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