I've just been gloomy today. Its been ten years since my first divorce and I'm still hurting. In our marriage things went pretty well for the first 11 days but then I saw him with a woman from the church but didn't want to admit he was already cheating. Well the marriage was horrible. He would come home from work and start arguments over stupid stuff. He was very particular about the house and told me he expected it to be as clean as his mothers. Then the hitting started. After a couple of years he started punching me.He isolated me from church and family and took the children out of school. I stayed with him because I kept hoping he would change. But he never did. It only got worse. Then I had a nervous breakdown
About twelve years into the marriage. He had been flirting with some other woman at church again. (We went back to church after years of separation). During my second hospitalization I received divorce papers.

Ten years later he's still isolating me from the children. I am hated with a cruel hated; detested-found disgusting in his eyes and his family's eyes. My children are getting older but he has brain washed them and they are very controlling. Because of my mental condition I'm not allowed visitation without supervision. I am no longer pretty. I'm overweight and middle aged and have dentures. I'm no longer young. He wanted me to stay young and pretty forever.

Then I rushed into another marriage again after the devorce and it was just another man lying to me, promising me love then telling me I'm ugly , couldn't even call me by my name during marriage vows. He blames it on nerves. I'm sorry but I'm through with men!!!!But how do I get over all this. Its hard to believe even Jesus would want me if I'm so disgusting.