Love him as much and as long as you want, but I'm pretty sure every state has "no-fault" divorce laws on the books that enable anyone to get a divorce without their spouse agreeing to it. You might see if you can get him into counseling and MAYBE your marriage can be fixed, but you can't force him to stay in it if he doesn't want to.
Much of what you own together is community property that will need to be distributed through an equitable settlement agreement. Probably not worth kicking about clothing and personal items, but you need to keep track of things like cars, real property, money, investments, etc.. Neither of you should be taking independent action on that stuff until you've arrived at a settlement agreement.