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#772141 - 07/17/16 03:19 PM Long time no see
youngatheart Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 09/04/05
Posts: 9498
So, here I am with a kid issue.

I will start by saying that I know most people have no issues with pot. However, I was born to a drug addict. My first memories are of that activity. My home has always been a sanctuary from that lifestyle.

That said, my ex-husband's son introduced pot to our son. Our son began using in the last year. He was stupid enough to use in my house, I guess not realizing The Tell-Tale smell would alert me. We had a very Frank discussion about how I knew I couldn't stop him. I know no amount of rehab will make him quit. But, out of respect for me he cannot do it in my house or around my house. And I stopped giving him any money at all.

In 2 weeks he is going to be 18 years old, but he still has another year of high school. He is going to complete that year of high school at his dad's house. Our relationship is strained at this point to say the least.

So the situation now is that I got a phone call on Thursday evening that he was in town and was supposed to spend the night with a friend. But that friend's mom decided he couldn't stay. His dad was already back at home 2 hours away. So Son asked if he could come to my house with his two friends.

I had to work that night so I told Sun that they could stay but could not touch any alcohol. I did not specifically say no pot in my house but felt that had been handled months ago.

So I return home after work on Friday to a house that smells of pot. And trash everywhere. And ashes in a McDonald's cup. I'm not sure if they are so stupid that they thought I wouldn't notice or if they just don't care. I'm guessing the latter.

So now here I am with a child who is about to be 18 who I cannot trust at all. And I think my only option at this point is to say he cannot be in my home at all unless I am with him 100% of the time. And then our strained relationship is going to become even more hindered.

I don't know that there's an answer. Maybe I just need to hear thoughts from others.

#772142 - 07/18/16 12:27 AM Re: Long time no see [Re: youngatheart]
gr8Dad Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/07/04
Posts: 31800
If you set rules at your home, and he violated those rules, you do have every right to say he cannot be there when you are not there. It is a trust issue.
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...

#772143 - 07/23/16 12:55 PM Re: Long time no see [Re: gr8Dad]
Annie7676 Offline
old hand

Registered: 06/05/05
Posts: 933
Loc: NY
That's a difficult place to be on with the pot smoking. Is he doing well in all other areas of his life besides that? Good grades, part time jobs, hobbies, sports, other activities? Not trying to say the pot thing isn't a concern. If he is going to finish the last year of high school with Dad does that mean he will move there and not live with you? And if so, then when does he move in with Dad? Maybe that will work better.


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