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#772153 - 07/20/16 06:09 PM Doomed from the start/new man has huge alimony
an_old_friend Offline

recently joined

Registered: 07/20/16
Posts: 1
I have been divorced many years and I'm a professional self-supporting woman with a prestigious job/career. I started dating my dear old friend who divorced 2 years ago. His fat lazy ex-wife promised to go back to work after kids in school and she never did. He is totally at fault for never insisting she do so. So he ended up with a large alimony payment for 10 more years until her fatness is 65 years old. Then he lost his job and is trying (unsuccessfully so far) to reduce alimony a lot. They keep awarding her continued money despite the fact he is basically poverty stricken, lives on foodstamps and lives in a crummy little condo. He stopped paying her bcs he really has NO money left. (She will have her high-priced lawyer file contempt motion soon - he can't afford a lawyer.) It is so sad. He is so nice but I have to pay whenever we go out so we never do. I am 54 and want to start living life and traveling and I'd even be open to marrying again, but this money thing is becoming a deal-breaker. We have been together for 2 years and I'd hate to see it end, but should I end it now bcs I see no end in sight for his alimony? He doesn't even want to get a new job bcs she will always get over half his income for doing NOTHING but breathing. That kills him and now it's killing me too. What to do?

#772154 - 07/23/16 12:49 PM Re: Doomed from the start/new man has huge alimony [Re: an_old_friend]
Annie7676 Offline
old hand

Registered: 06/05/05
Posts: 933
Loc: NY
You have answered your own question, this money thing is a deal breaker. If you don't like his situation which does not appear it will change, then move on. So go live your life and travel and find someone you don't need to pay for.

#772155 - 07/25/16 12:30 PM Re: Doomed from the start/new man has huge alimony [Re: Annie7676]
mskelly Offline


Registered: 05/02/16
Posts: 57
I live in a very similar situation... with 2 differences. I married the love of my life (long story... we were High School sweethearts but went our separate ways and married others, divorced and are now married) He has to pay alimony to his ex fatness/laziness as well, but his is permanent with no end date. Which means it's paid until she remarries or upon her death. It is very frustrating and it makes you very angry at the system. He works very hard at a very dangerous job, while she sits on her fat butt and just gets a check every month for doing nothing. She travels and has gatherings which she pays for with the money that we earn and pay her. Yes I'm bitter about this. Our society has created a monster call entitlement! I knew about all of this when I entered into the marriage, so I knew what I was getting myself into. It does cause me to feel resentful and angry, but not at him at her. You have to make some hard decisions about this relationship. Is this something you can live with long term? If not, then cut the ties now! I wish you lots of luck, there is not an easy or pleasant answer for this situation.

#772156 - 10/17/16 05:16 AM Re: Doomed from the start/new man has huge alimony [Re: an_old_friend]
Samarth Offline

recently joined

Registered: 10/04/16
Posts: 5
well the man should ask the government about this situation, the ex wife may get money from the government if the guy is not able to earn that much money.


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