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#772483 - 09/07/16 06:49 PM 5 Year Old Son's Blanket
GarciaFamily1986 Offline

recently joined

Registered: 09/07/16
Posts: 1
I have been divorced now going on 4 years. We have 50/50 joint legal decision making. I have a son that is 5 and just started kindergarten this year.

From the beginning of even my son being born he has always favored myself and my family but has always had a really hard time with his mom. Long story short. She remarried as well as got pregnant with the man she cheated on me with and are still together. There was no time off from being single with her. My son was exposed to that right away. She also had another daughter before our son. And now she is on baby number 2 with this man. Not to mention that she has moved many many times all at least 45 miles if not more each time. I have stayed in the same place where my son was brought home from the hospital.

This has not been a easy situation. I have constantly and I mean constantly try to get along for the best interest of our son. But she won't have it. And the new husband and his family get involved when they shouldn't. They have even tried to fight with myself and my family. They lie and tell my son things. And when I try and tell her what he says negative about them and what's going on she just says yeah he does that here too.

We have had to put our son in the middle of both of us for school because court did not want to deal with the decision. They told us we had to figure it out. We tried but she wanted him over there with her which I thought was completely unfair do to the fact of her constantly moving and Mr staying where I have been. To me and my son this is stable and this is his home. But instead of court letting me choose the school near me we now have to drive 35+ miles which literally takes 55 mins to get him to school each morning.

We do exchanges on Wednesday and Saturday. My son always cries on Wednesday because he knows what that means and he is always saying he doesn't want to be over there
Especially not that long.

So to the blanket issue. Please understand that my son is not like the boy on Charlie Brown who absolutely needs his blanket with him at all times. He just prefers to have it with him when he lays down. And even then it's not really needed if it's being washed or he left it somewhere. He doesn't throw a fit for that. But again he just prefers having it when he lays down. Hell, I have 2 style pillow cases on my bed and even I prefer one over the other.

Now his mother is making it seem like he is being babied and needs to ween off it. She says it is the second year this has been brought up. Now that upsets me. 1 he isn't using it that way. 2 I see it as a way for him to cope with going over there as a comfort thing for him. 3 he is 5 and all these things he has to be put through and he can't take something little that fits in a small bag with him. It's just as if he wanted to take a specific toy there. She says that when he has things like stuffed animals or even the blanket it makes him sad and think about us and he cries because he misses us. So that's why she wants to avoid it.

Now as you can see this is only a fraction of what I deal with. It kills her knowing he doesn't want to be there with them. She always tries to make myself and my family look bad. She constantly tries and says which I have emails of where she literally tries to eliminate my family from him. My parents are so close to him that they are like his own parents too. They are more than grand parents.

She has not family here. They have no other kids in the husbands family. The older daughter is in high school and the baby is 2 and the other isn't even born yet. It's obvious he is push aside and is not happy. At least let him have something that might give him some sort of comfort while there. He even says that when he tells her he misses us and wants to be with myself and family she gets mad and tells him no or even puts him in time out.

Am I wrong? Is his mother right to do this? What are your thoughts?

Thank you for your thought and info.

#772484 - 09/07/16 08:32 PM Re: 5 Year Old Son's Blanket [Re: GarciaFamily1986]
MinnesotaMom Offline

old hand

Registered: 01/05/11
Posts: 880
Simple solution. Learn what radio silence is, which means you ignore. Don't respond in anyway.

It's called parallel parenting, where you each have you own style, neither which is necessarily right or wrong, just different.


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