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#772758 - 11/22/16 12:28 AM Son in Therapy, Refusing to Visit
Dwjngs Offline
recently joined

Registered: 11/21/16
Posts: 2
Sorry if this isn't the correct forum, but it seemed closest to the topic.

My son is 19 and a sophomore in college. His sister is 16 and a sophomore in high school. Their mother and I have been divorced for 13 years, and there hasn't been a significant problem with visitation or support during that time.

I recently received an email from my son saying that he no longer wants any contact with me. There was no warning or indication that he was thinking or feeling this way. He has blocked all means of contact and won't respond to my attempts. When I asked his mother about it, she said he'd been in therapy, and that he felt this action was best for his health. I was unaware he was in therapy, or even struggling. Our visits had been normal, up to this point. When I asked why she hadn't told me he was in therapy, she became agitated. This whole thing has blindsided me.

My question is, does anyone have experience with a similar situation? Can anyone offer any advice? Thank you in advance.

#772760 - 11/22/16 08:28 PM Re: Son in Therapy, Refusing to Visit [Re: Dwjngs]
MinnesotaMom Offline

old hand

Registered: 01/05/11
Posts: 880
Legally, there's nothing you can do since he's an adult. I would send him a letter and let him know you aren't sure what is wrong, but you support and are there for him and he that he can contact you anytime.

#772761 - 11/22/16 10:16 PM Re: Son in Therapy, Refusing to Visit [Re: MinnesotaMom]
Dwjngs Offline
recently joined

Registered: 11/21/16
Posts: 2
Thank you for the reply. I wish it was better news, but thanks all the same.

#772809 - 12/10/16 06:12 PM Re: Son in Therapy, Refusing to Visit [Re: Dwjngs]
gr8Dad Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/07/04
Posts: 31800
Okay, you need to be VERY VERY careful. This COULD involve criminal charges, and you MAY be being set up. You need to contact the THERAPIST. Make an appointment, and SPEAK to the therapist.

First, explain that you COMPLETELY understand doctor/patient, and do NOT want to talk about your son. You simply want to make the therapist aware that you ARE concerned, that you WERE NOT informed this was happening, and IF your son would like, you would be more than willing to meet in a JOINT session, with him, and you and your ex wife.
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...

#772886 - 01/07/17 01:18 PM Re: Son in Therapy, Refusing to Visit [Re: Dwjngs]
Goodmom Offline

Registered: 06/17/07
Posts: 2202
Please ignore notsogr8's advice. It is illegal. And will only make things worse for you.

Your son is an adult. He doesn't have to tell you that he is in therapy. He also doesn't need your permission to seek medical treatment. If he needed surgery, they would be seeking his consent, not yours or his mother's.

Your best route is to treat him like an adult and let him know that you are there for him when he is ready to work on your relationship.

And to be clear, your ex did nothing wrong in not informing you. It wasn't her place like it was when your mutual son was a minor.

Edited by Goodmom (01/07/17 01:24 PM)


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