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#772903 - 01/11/17 11:09 PM Taking My Fiancee's Ex to Court for Harassment
khsmiley Offline


Registered: 05/24/16
Posts: 26
I have 1 1/2 yrs of records showing that my fiancée's ex has been harassing me. I've asked her to stop on multiple occasions, but admit to responding to her at times to defend myself.

However, in June, I suffered a miscarriage (which I believe was caused by stress brought on by her harassment and antics-but cannot prove this) and she emailed the very next day. I responded with an excerpt of the TN Code Annotated regarding harassment and demanded that she stop or I would take legal action. I've had no contact with her since.

She emailed and texted me in July and August. Then, in September,she used her male friend's phone to send an inappropriate picture of herself and that man in bed,then accused me of sending topless photos to him,meeting him at a bar,and trying to have sex with him. The next day she told my fiancée that I had an online dating profile,which was untrue.

The next day,I filed a police report for harassment and a warrant was issued for her arrest. Interestingly,she works for the metro court system in my county. She was even reprimanded in 2015 for using the metro computer system to look up my address and came to my apartment unannounced. She has said many times to my fiancée that I will not win this case because she has many connections in the court system. In Nov she created a Facebook account under an alias to harass me,post on my wall,and contact my father to discuss my miscarriage (which she learned of through my fiancée's family)and accuse my fiancée of verbally and physical abusing me.

A court date was scheduled for 1/6/17,but was cancelled due to snow/ice that morning (lol Tennessee). The kicker is,the judge who helped decide that the hearing was cancelled is the same judge that the ex has worked under for the last few yrs. She invited my fiancée via text to come to court to witness the "shit show" and told him to "show up and see what happens". The day of our previously scheduled court date,she also published a defamatory and false Facebook post calling me crazy and accusing me of calling myself her daughter's mother.

The court date has not been reset,I have not heard from the DA,and the ex has called me 4 times this week but I have not answered. I have spoken with my DA about this case 1x for 30 min and she took none of my evidence to review. I've had incredible difficulty getting the DA to respond to my questions or review the case with me.

My question is,should I pursue this case civilly and hire a lawyer to represent me since I seem to be getting nowhere going through the DA? It has been 4 months since I filed the police report! This woman will not leave me alone and it is causing me severe distress,including troubles with depression and anxiety which has affected not only my relationship with my fiancée,but with my family members as well. I've been to counseling sessions to learn how to handle my anger and frustration regarding this harassment. I am even moving 30 miles away from where I've lived for 2yrs just to get away from her so that she can't drop by my apartment again.

I do not want any money from her,I just want it court ordered that she is to have no contact with me and to not speak of me.

Does anyone have advice?

#772908 - 01/12/17 02:17 PM Re: Taking My Fiancee's Ex to Court for Harassment [Re: khsmiley]
Gecko Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 20602
Loc: Third rock from the sun
I'm sure your case wasn't the only one that has had to be cancelled due to inclement weather so it will take time for them to reschedule.

I would seek a Restraining Order and then follow-up each and every time she violates it.

You cannot use the civil courts to stop her from harassing you, only to make her financially responsible for the problems caused her actions. You can ask to be compensated for loss of work, medical treatment, even having to move. And you might be granted punitive damages.
If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!

#772909 - 01/12/17 04:27 PM Re: Taking My Fiancee's Ex to Court for Harassment [Re: Gecko]
khsmiley Offline


Registered: 05/24/16
Posts: 26
Thank you for the clarification! I've never had to deal with anything like this before so, I'm way out of my league. Your reply was helpful!


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