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#760779 - 03/26/13 02:02 AM Help, a lover who lost..his loves (not vice-versa)
justconfused Offline

recently joined

Registered: 03/26/13
Posts: 1
I am going through the roughest part of my life, I am getting a divorce "Surprise", my wife cheated on me, fell in love (supposedly) with a younger man, I am 38 going on 80, and her boyfriend in 28, going on 12. we have a 2 1/2 year old child, whom will more than likely be diagnosed with autism. I do love her, always have, and I cannot move on, get over her. She filed October 2012, and the only thing that has been decided, is a JPA, and Temp Maintenance, and Child Support. My soon to be ex, takes 1700.00 a month from me, and leaves me with 1100.00 to live on. The house she lives in with her boyfriend is in Short Sale, while I cannot prove he lives there, he is there an awful lot. I get the insurance bills monthly, and there is a 42.00 charge per month, birth control. Never took while married. I should hate her, but I really dont, Ive said harsh things, but i wanted to fix all of this, I believe if not for her boyfriend, she would see the love we had. She blames me for all of this, I didn't love her enough, I didn't screw her enough, and now I am getting screwed. As I said, I really should HATE. and at times I do, but then I think about my son, and about the life we had, and what should have been, and I spiral into a depression. How to get over a broken heart, the age old question. We were married a little over 5 1/2 years, and I already know I am getting screwed with maintenance, she expects to be a stay-a-home mom, and me pay for everything, as you can see from the numbers above that will not work. I get the whole (not taking care of your child) stuff, when I want to cut off the maintenance, I do not know if I can, but I want to, 700.00 should be more than enough to support a 2 1/2 year old, she has not worked since he was born, she is a licensed cosmetologist, and a licensed aerobic instructor. I am sorry to be so long winded, but I really do miss her. my son. my life, and my money. i currently reside at my folks house in Illinois, and I have a HUGE problem financially. As I said before, and may be running around, I just get depressed when I think about the whole situation. I loved her, and I dont think she loved me, in fact it is painfully obvious, any help, words of advice, or any good shock-therapy treatments to remove someone from my head??? ANYTHING!!! :confused: :confused: :confused: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy:

#760780 - 05/25/16 06:44 PM Re: Help, a lover who lost..his loves (not vice-versa) [Re: justconfused]
khsmiley Offline


Registered: 05/24/16
Posts: 26
I'm so sorry for what has happened to you. But please know that this is NOT your fault and that you are the victim, not her. Have you considered seeing a counselor? My boyfriend and I started seeing one recently and, I have to admit, that it has been extremely helpful.

Perhaps it's time to go back to child/spousal support court? She should not be receiving such a large amount when she chooses not to work. Something is off there......

#773150 - 03/29/17 12:04 AM Re: Help, a lover who lost..his loves (not vice-versa) [Re: justconfused]
FrancoStacy Offline

Registered: 03/28/17
Posts: 26
What is her problem with you?
Is any of her compliant about you true?

But even if they are true, just like khsmiley said, its not your fault. Cheating is caused by the cheater, nothing you did or did not do forced her to betray you and your child...yes cheating is cheating on the child too.

I would see help. And a lawyer.
For me, my Catholic faith saved me and my kids gave me purpose. No matter what your son will need you.

No you should NOT hater her. Hate just eats you up, but that doesnt mean you approve or respect her for it. Hate will not help here, so praise God you do not hate her. That makes you a BIG man.

You say you dont think she ever loved you. Why would you say that if she married you and had a child with you?


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