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#773184 - 04/05/17 09:18 PM Not sure how to go about it.
JollyGood Offline
recently joined

Registered: 04/05/17
Posts: 1
Married to an active duty soldier whom I went to school with and have known for a few years now.

Before our marriage, he messaged a lot of women including an ex, sexting, telling them things he was telling me. I found out the minute I flew out and saw him.

I ended up forgiving him saying that I still wanna try to make things work, and next thing you know we're engaged and getting married a few weeks later.

I still don't fully trust him, and haven't this whole time. He dosent cook, clean, or help take care of our dog. I nag him about things and he ignores me by playing video games all day. Video games seems to be the priority in his life.

I'm a barista, you can imagine how much I can get hit on. But there's this one person that's come into my life that has shown me how sweet someone could be, and my husband has seen that in my phone.

As time goes by I don't know how much longer I can do this. We're too young to worry about these things. I feel as though if we divorce, we could be free, we could save money, I can figure out what I wanna do in life. We don't have to worry about one or the other fully committing adultry.

Are these reasons valid? Im happy and thankful for what we have and the memories we share, but I'm not happy with myself and im not happy where I'm at. I haven't figured things out and I feel as though life would be easier on both of us to just fully seperate.

Am I okay to feel this way? Is my approach to all of this okay? I do not ask anything from him. I don't want money, I don't want fuss, all I want is for himself to be happy and for myself to be happy.

#773185 - 04/06/17 11:20 AM Re: Not sure how to go about it. [Re: JollyGood]
FrancoStacy Offline

Registered: 03/28/17
Posts: 26
If you dont have kids and dont have property and neither of you want something from the other as far as a settlement, I think its pretty simple and you start at the courthouse by filing. There will be paperwork but you can find that online or your state probably has a government site that will even help you with the process and and the paperwork. But if that seems overwhelming and you both agree, you can hire a lawyer as a ....cant remember what they are called but may be called a mediator. Either way, the lawyer is there for paperwork and answering questions to you both and is not there to settle disputes, just with the process that you two agree with. It doesnt cost much

But I have to ask this, do you have a faith or either one of you religous in a sense that marriage is more than just a business contract with binding papers?

If so, I suggest you consider what you are about to to do.

From the outside it sounds like neither one of you are very committed to the other or to the ideal of marriage. I say that because the both of you allow people into personal space reserved for married couples and you do it through your phone. Contrary to what others do or tell you, its not solid ground to maintain a marriage.

You ask are these reasons valid, I cant answer that for sure. But I know that if I loved a person, and I missed them when I was not with them, and if I got good or bad news I would want to share that with them because they are my best friend, and I am attracted to them like no other over a course of time, and that even when they make me mad or hurt me, I feel like my life is better with them, and when they hurt, I hurt and when they are happy, im happy for them and with them....then the answer is no.


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