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#773411 - 05/09/17 04:25 PM My gf about to finalize her divorce. Seeing change
Wolverine2280 Offline
recently joined

Registered: 05/09/17
Posts: 1
AI childhood friend of mine reached out to me and indicated she was going through a nasty divorce. She had married and I had not heard from her in years but apparently it was extremely abusive. They have kids and custody is an issue. I was actually at the end of my rope in a second marriage that was just a really bad spontaneous decision. The two of us physically separated and that happened to meet after that. The first few months were just friendship but then we became romantic. Now it is one year later and her divorce is actually approaching finality with a court date this Friday. I've noticed a lot of change in her suddenly in that she's not as affectionate doesn't communicate nearly as much. She doesn't seem to want to talk to me ... and Where I used to feel very connected now I feel very disconnected. We would always say good night and she doesn't do that. I will add that we have had some conflict of late. And she says that how that has gone has affected her feelings.

Looking for input from the ladies. I'm worried. As this date approaches it is very hard for me to witness my gf having such strong emotions attached to another man. She says it is not about feelings for him. In fact she says she despises him and cannot wait to be free. But my struggle is that it seems any emotions for someone else is difficult for me. In some ways it feels like I am supporting my girlfriend breaking up with another guy.

I've been cheated on myself so trust is hard already.

Edited by Wolverine2280 (05/09/17 04:31 PM)

#773438 - 05/14/17 09:52 PM Re: My gf about to finalize her divorce. Seeing change [Re: Wolverine2280]
lifewithdivorce Offline
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Registered: 05/06/17
Posts: 8
Loc: North Carolina

Keep in mind that everyone who is about to go through a divorce finalization will experience a lot of emotions that cloud judgment. Did your problems start as a result of you getting upset when she stopped being emotionally available?

Right now she needs time to process. This might not have any reflection upon that way she feels about you, but it will if you smother her at all during this time. She will appreciate it more if you can step back, realize that she is finalizing something huge in her life, and offer support from a distance if that is what she is looking for. Women are different and process emotions differently. She's probably being hit with a ton of stress right now and just needs some personal space to sort all the feelings out. If you really care for her, show her that it's all about her right now. Leave yourself out of it, except to be there when she needs it. If she's dropped communication, mirror her. Maybe send a quick text or something similar to let her know that you understand how hard this must be for her even if she's glad to get away, and that you are there when and if she needs you. Then leave it at that.
Life with Divorce:

A personal blog dedicated to sharing my experiences, lessons learned, and advice on navigating through life after separation and divorce.


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