I am new and there were a lot of rules to read, and I am running out of time. I will simply post what I emailed a lawyer recently, but got nothing useful.


Me, living in NC for over a decade from Mass. Have three kids with exwife (we are on good terms).

Current wife came here on K-1 visa from Philippines. Dated online for 2.5 years prior. We married within 90 days (July 2016). Now K1 expired.
No SSN because SSA screwed up her last name.
No AOS (for green card and legal living here) due to funds. Basically, without me she is not legal to stay in America anymore.

After months and months of verbal abuse against me and kids (mine, not hers or ours), her threats, minor physical attacks, her tearing apart the home, and finally the kids done being scared of her, she has been removed. On a night in April, after much of her threats, insult to me and kids (while they were here), and a physical assault against me (some scratches the police saw on me), she was arrested on domestic assault. She had a minor hearing that she faces 60 days of jail. After she kept calling even though she had the no contact, and still putting threats of ruining my life, I got help from InterAct and got a 10 day protection order. Then we went to court for that protection order to increase to a year, but because of our "complicated" situation, the judge granted six months. The thing with that is she twisted the truth a bit, claimed she never saw the scratches, and had two "witnesses" who were not even here that night but two days later to get her stuff because I did not want my wife near me or the kids anymore. I did not think of it at the time but how were they witnesses? Also, when the judged asked her about the night she was arrested, the first words out of her mouth was about something my ex did over a year ago! Always about the ex my wife has issues with and will always bring her up in a fight with me.

You see, I went to these two court things alone. No support. No lawyers because I can not afford one, but people say I do not need one being the victim, but clearly I did that 2nd time. All I kept asking her to do was get some help for her anger, jealousy (over the ex for whatever reason that is in her mind), and even against the kids. She may have bipolar or something.

Now she has to face the charges June 1st.

One, I do not know if I have to go.

Two, I do not want her in jail. I told the DA this in a voicemail and also been written on the paper they gave me. She be much happier with her family back in her homeland. If she stays in America somehow, she may follow through with more of her threats in the future. Yes, trying to get alimony is a threat because she knows I have no money, car died so I had no car for over a month, rent is going up, and not enough for the kids. She told me many times she wants to "punish me and the ex so the kids can see their daddy in jail and get no more support from him." The ex never done a thing to her! Always the ex! The first thing out of her mouth to the judge was something the ex did last year, which had nothing to do with the night of her arrest in April. She blames the ex for a fork falling!!

Three, I am not going to pay for her AOS if we are getting a divorce. I am not going to support her staying in this country on my money while she may date other guys in the future.

Four, she told me she be happier back in the Philippines with her family, which I rather see happen at this point since the kids are never allowed to see her again even if she got help because where is the proof if she has no contact with me for six months?

Five, I want to protect myself from any of her threats. She may have told the pastor she wants to move on and not hurt me, but she even told him once she will lie to get me in trouble. One of her threats is that she will get me and the ex (again with the ex) in trouble so the "kids can starve."

Six, since she already makes herself the victim on Facebook, Skype, and in the court room that day for the protection order, she may (or already has) will do the VAWA thing and claim to be the victim just to stay in America. She always told me America meant nothing to her. Only I did, but seems that not true anymore.

Seven, is this a race on who files for divorce first as the other will have to abide by those rules? I want to file first so she is pressured to return to NC if she wanted to. I hate that if she moves to VA, somehow legally stays there, and I have to then go to several court hearings up there, and pay a lawyer with money I do not have to combat any financial obligations she wants.

So, as you can see I got these and many more questions and no help. Sadly, I see a divorce in the future but that is a year according to NC. I rather see her be with her family than in jail or here fulfilling her threats against me and the kids.

Where can I get help? Again, I have so much to deal with and not a cent to pay anyone for their time.
What can/should I do? I love her and miss her so much, but do not want to live under that control and manipulation anymore. She refuses to get help (last she told me) and my kids never allowed near her again. Logically, do I have faith in her and wait, or work on letting her go and do everything I can to protect myself emotionally, financially... and anything else ending in -ly.

Been weeks reading things online and I do not get all the fancy terms people us. I have a semi-complicated issue being a victim of domestic assault from my wife who came on a K1 (still has no SSN, green card, living status). She has a protection order against her. She has her hearing against NC June 1st. I want to see about a legal separation so she can not ask me for anything. I am going to need help with a divorce (which seems like it will happen since she refuses help) in a year. I read all this stuff online to do myself, but I understand nothing. I am a layman's layman. Stressed, tired, DEAD BROKE! At the trial for the protection order, I needed so much help (I did get 6 months against her) but she did break laws on not even to contact me after her arrest, but she did three times. I did not think to bring that up at the protection order hearing.

I want nothing from her but she has made countless verbal threats to make me financially suffer so "the kids can starve."

I have been at this since early April with no success with LegalAid or anyone.

There is so much more.

I need help from anything she can do against me or the kids (anything against me affects the kids). Do I do a separation agreement (she will not comply though)?

I am afraid about June 1st.I am anxious to file the first hour of the day to divorce next year, but I read all those forms and websites and NOT A THING MAKES SENSE! I am a layman's layman who can not afford lunch once a month.

Who can help?
Life been hard, keeps getting harder. Just need (lots of) help. I do not have a cent to my name either. Keep this in mind when responding to me.