Let me first say I admit that I am being incredibly, ridiculously selfish.

My ex and I were married for almost 18 years. We met in high school and married soon after. We have teenage children. I loved him and tried my best to be a good wife. But he just couldn't be happy with just one woman. I forgave and forgave, although I was about 10 years and 3 kids into the marriage when I first found out about his "hobbies". I wasn't perfect and definitely had my faults, but I was determined to make it work. He decided about 2 years ago that he had messed up too much and things could never be right again and he just didn't love me anymore. We are friends. We get along great. He sees our kids often, really whenever he wants. He's good to me and helps whenever I need him. I'm okay with him living elsewhere. It was actually a relief when he moved out because it had become so much work. I hurt for my children, but I don't want him back. But, that being the case, why do I care that he has decided to move on with his life? I know he's been seeing other women, and I shouldn't care, but I get so depressed when I think about it. What is wrong with me?! Why can't I just not care? He's cause so so so much pain for me and my kids, I shouldn't care what he does or who he's with. Selfishly, I just don't think he deserves to be happy. (Yes, I know how bad that sounds) This stinks!! Meanwhile, I'm trying to figure out how to someone other than his wife.