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#773847 - 07/30/17 04:49 PM Seeking advice
Vss719 Offline
recently joined

Registered: 07/30/17
Posts: 2
Hi ya'll .. I'm seeking advice (no judgement) and open to finding a solution to create happiness in my life. I am currently married now for 4 years and been together with my husband now for 15 years. Things have changed, he has changed and so have I (evolved more so). I am completely unhappy with where we are in life... I want more than just work work work. I am the only person who works (for 3 yrs now) and supports a household of 6 and I'm finding myself resenting him. I have little to no trust in him as he has become very all about what's just good for him. I find myself regretting every year with him and if we didn't have children together I feel I'd be in a different place in life. I'm not sure how to make any moves (bc having kids) as I know it will cause a huge affect on my children, but I also do know I'm 100% unhappy and am unsure of what to do. Any thoughts...

#773849 - 08/01/17 05:55 PM Re: Seeking advice [Re: Vss719]
matilda Offline

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 2142
I'm so sorry that you are unhappy. I completely understand how emotionally draining a relationship can be when it seems unbalanced. I think it is important that you become educated about what is involved if you decide to divorce now versus if you wait years down the line. The longer the divorce the more likely you will have to pay spousal support. Many lawyers offer free initial consultations. I would write a list of questions that you have so you are prepared. You can search on line for questions you might like to ask.

I would also wonder is it that he just is unable to find work and suffering for self esteem issues or is it that he doesn't want to work. Could he need counseling or help writing a resume and applying for jobs? Consider a class that will help prepare him for interviews. Could it be that he is afraid of being rejected?

Regardless if you stay or divorce this is affecting your kids because I'm sure that they see you are not happy. You need to decide if this can be repaired or if it is better just to end things so you can move on with your life and find happiness. Kids are resilient and will adjust if you decide to divorce as long as you handle it well.

#773944 - 09/18/17 06:25 PM Re: Seeking advice [Re: Vss719]
ch_oni Offline
recently joined

Registered: 06/19/17
Posts: 9
If you live in a community property state divorce him quickly. A guy that is ok not working when he has 6 kids to support is the same guy that will ask you for spousal support and try to take half of your stuff. He won't even think twice about your kids.

You should consult a lawyer and come up w a game plan b4 you file.


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