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#773890 - 08/30/17 11:29 PM Husband wants it all
icequeen922 Offline
recently joined

Registered: 08/30/17
Posts: 2
Hi everyone, I am new here. I just broke up with my husband a month ago telling him I want a divorce because of the misery I'm in being in this stepfamily life. I am leaving him because of his 15 year old son. Long story short, it has been over a month since I said to him I want a divorce and he said yes. We are still living in the same house as we have a mortgage in both our names. He asked if I'm okay with him refinancing it to his name and I said yes! Because I felt that that was the fastest way to move out. Here is the catch:
1. He says I am not getting any equity, profit whatever from this house. We bought the house in 2011. His reason was since I was the one leaving, I should consider myself as a renter for the past 6 years, I get nothing once I move out. And also, he had to come up with 15,000 to refinance the house (I saw all pre-closing docs and nothing shows there he had to pay 15k!)
2. He still owes 11,000 from his 401k for a loan we took when we bought the house. To pay for my share of this loan, I need to give him the title of my 2012 Honda once it's paid off next year.
3. There is another car that is both in our names, this one has a bigger loan because we just bought it last year. He says he will not take my name off the loan because he will have to come up with money to refinance it. So basically, the bank can still go after in the even he fails any payment.

If I don't give him all of that, he will not refinance the house. I will be stuck here. I'm meeting with a lawyer tomorrow to tell him all those. I don't know what my options are. THanks!

Edited by icequeen922 (08/30/17 11:30 PM)

#773892 - 08/31/17 05:38 PM Re: Husband wants it all [Re: icequeen922]
TJMH Offline


Registered: 07/17/15
Posts: 349
Good news and bad news. You should be entitled to a share of the home equity, and if he wants to keep it he should refinance in his name only and buy you out of your share. You should be off the deed and the mortgage, and you should be paid your share of the equity. You'll probably want to get an appraisal to document the value of the home (he'll need it for the refi anyway). What your STBX is telling you about that is total BS.

The bad news is you're also responsible for a share of the debt, including the existing mortgage, the 401K loan and the car loans.

When you talk to the attorney be sure to ask about "equitable distribution." That's how property division will be determined in NC. So it might not be 50/50, but maybe close to that. The fact that you initiated the divorce will make no difference at all.

You should also discuss spousal support with your attorney. You may be able to ask for temporary support starting immediately and continuing while the divorce is in progress, and also continuing support after the divorce is final. The court will order this even if your husband doesn't agree to it.

I take it the two of you have no children between you? Just the stepson?


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