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#774132 - 12/07/17 06:33 PM At the end of my all measures
Lance Offline
recently joined

Registered: 12/07/17
Posts: 2
No specific question.

My wife and I have been married for 18 years. While I still love my wife, I cannot stand her and I am now seriously contemplating separating or filing for divorce.

My wife is extremely cold and refuses to say "I love you (too)." That has been the case for well over ten years now.

Five years into our marriage, when our kids were still very young, we bought a new house. This was my wife's 'dream home,' however, I had many concerns from my very first visit to the new house (before we bought it).

The house was overpriced and more than we could reasonably afford. Additionally, it was not in an especially good neighborhood and it most definitely was not the community that I wanted my kids to grow up in.

The house was also only a few miles from her parents, which is something she wanted very much. While looking at new houses, the one thing that I did very much want to have was a garage; preferably a two car garage, but at least a one car garage. Naturally, this 'dream house' had no garage. Finally, the couple selling the house were divorcing. Not a good omen.

I ultimately told my wife that we would not buy this home for the reasons I mentioned above; i.e. it was too expensive, it was in a bad neighborhood, not the ideal community we wanted and it did not have a garage. My wife had a temper tantrum like a five year old and finally I relented and, long story short, we ended up buying the house. I did that because I thought that would make my wife happy.

I have always put the needs and desires of my kids and my wife first and foremost, far ahead of my own; as any good husband should.

When a wife thinks only of herself though, particularly for something as important as buying a home, then that's a problem.

From moving into our new house, through the present, things went from bad to worse, to the point now where I am now, considering moving out and divorcing my wife.

I knew that buying this house would be a mistake but I couldn't have imagined just how bad things would get. One of our original neighbors moved out and the family that moved in has made our lives a living hell. They're an extended family with several adult "children" who apparently have no plans of ever moving out. They also have a constant string of people of coming and going at all hours.

Bad neighborhoods attract bad people and I constantly tell my wife "You're the one who wanted to move here. What did you expect?" I told her this would be a mistake."

I myself have been far from the perfect husband but I readily admit that. My wife blames all of our issues on me and she has never accepted any responsibility for our marriage becoming what it has.

My wife also has no self-control. She has no qualms about yelling and screaming in front of our kids; something I told her from the time that our first son was born, that we would never do.

I used to be patient and calm but over the year that patience has eroded and I now have zero tolerance for her outbursts and tantrums. This has taken a toll on my kids and on myself.

No doubt we would have faced challenges where ever we decided to move to, but choosing to buy an overpriced house in a bad neighborhood, was just a recipe for disaster.

I stay with my wife solely for the sake of my kids but even then I have to wonder if they would not be better off if we split.

#774133 - 12/07/17 11:25 PM Re: At the end of my all measures [Re: Lance]
MinnesotaMom Offline

old hand

Registered: 01/05/11
Posts: 869
If you come up with any specific divorce related questions, please post them.


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