These are the facts.
We live in Iowa, been married for 8 years, and have 4 kids.
She no longer works and I do.
After we were married my wife inherited a lot of money from her family. Over $6 million to be exact. She was advised by her family’s attorney to keep this money separate from “our” money. When first married she was working and making about $300 per week and I paid 99% of all the bills.
We had been married for about 1 year when she received half of the money and were married about 7 years when she received the other half. We currently have an emergency joint account that is to be used in the event that she becomes incapacitated or passes away and has about $400,000 in it. However, each year her parents give me a tax free “gift” of ~$15,000 that she just takes and deposits into one of her accounts. I never see a dime of it. She claims that since the gift is from her parents, and I only get it because I married her, she can claim it. I don’t fight her on it because I feel guilty that they give it to me anyhow. They also give her and our children each this same gift. The kids each have an account that it goes into for their college education. I pay all the household bills; gas, water, electric, internet, TV, etc., and she pays the mortgage on our home.
My question is, have our finances co-mingled enough that if we were to divorce I would be entitled to some of her inheritance? The home is in both of our names. And we are currently building a new home where the lot is in both of our names. I only ask because she threatens divorce often, and I don’t make a lot of money. ($60,000 per year). However, and in order to live up to her expectations, I have no savings and really nothing except my car. I spend every dime I make on dinners, vacations, and bills. Bills and dinners and vacations that if I were living within my means would be a lot less. We have 4 kids and grocery’s alone are about $500 per week because my wife “must” have certain brands etc. And we go out to dinner or order food in at least 4 times per week which is expensive and something I wouldn't do if it were up to just me. I do benefit from her money in that I get to live in “her house” and go on vacations that “she paid for”, but “I” live above my means in order to satisfy her tastes and she gives me no financial assistance except paying the mortgage.
Thank you for any advice or opinions.