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#775457 - 05/24/19 09:08 AM he's living with his girlfriend
Taryn Offline
recently joined

Registered: 05/24/19
Posts: 5
My husband of 16 years filed for divorce several months ago. We have two children, 6 and 9 and two dogs. He met a co-worker (10 years younger than I am) and they had an affair for 8 months before I found out. He didn't tell me, I just figured it out and confronted him. Since then, he's moved out and in with her (who was also married when the affair started, but is now divorced.) At first I was livid, hurt, angry, all of the expected emotions. I said some things I'm not proud of, like called her a "homewrecker", and asked if either of their bosses knew what they had done (they are both police officers.) I also contacted her husband and asked if he knew about the affair, though he didn't reply to me.
The girlfriend has blocked my phone number, even though I have since reached out and apologized to her for my mean words and behavior. My husband says "she's coming around, but these things take time." I personally think it was beyond big of me to reach out to her at all, considering she knew he was married, and she came to my home several times while I was at work and had relations with my husband. All completely behind my back. Now, he refuses to give me their address, even though my children sleep over there on the nights that he has them, (even though we are still legally married.)
To make matters worse, his parents, whom I have been very close to for 19 years have completely abandoned me, for reasons I cannot fathom. I was nothing but respectful to them, and included them completely in our lives. I was a wonderful daughter-in-law.
I am putting our 3,000 square foot home on the market, and have been getting things ready and packed 100% on my own. We both hired lawyers, but that just ended up being a huge waste of money, because they ordered us to mediation. We've been to three sessions so far, and things are moving painfully slow.
My state is 50/50, but I managed to get slightly more custody than he, of my kids through mediation, just one more night a week. Everything else seems to be heading in the direction of 50/50.
My question is this. Do I get anything from him cheating on me? Do I get anything for getting the house ready for sale and packing/moving 100% by myself?
Do I have a right to know his address if my children are sleeping there? They don't have cell phones, and my husband is less than reliable with answering his.
I want him to pay for what he did to me and our kids and continues to do. I know that seems rude, but I can't fathom that someone can get away with all of this scot free.
And, last but not least, how on earth do I let go of all of this anger?
Thank you for reading.

Edited by Taryn (05/24/19 09:10 AM)

#775466 - 05/25/19 10:44 AM Re: he's living with his girlfriend [Re: Taryn]
MinnesotaMom Offline

old hand

Registered: 01/05/11
Posts: 969
As painful as it is, he won't have to "pay" for what he's done.

I highly recommend counseling. The hurt you are carrying ends up only hurting you and the kids.


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