I’m pretty miserable with my wife of 10+ years. If not for having kids, there’s no way we would still be together. But I just don’t know if I’d choose the miserable state of our marriage along with everything else that is positive (kids, friends, community) or choose to split and end up being alone most of the time. I wish I could see in the future and be able to see if I would be happier or if I would just regret it and prefer the way it is now. I’m not sure I ever loved her if I’m being honest but at this point I don’t really feel much anymore. It has been a long road of her and her nasty moods and attitude. I’m so tired of it and don’t know what to do. I’m also scared of being alone for the rest of my life as I’m not exactly a 10/10. The inner turmoil hurts so much and not a day goes by where I wish she wasn’t home. My ideal would be if she walked out on us and just left me and the kids at home (which she never would do as she’s a very loving mom.)
I’ve tried suggesting therapy but she “doesn’t believe in it” and the most I’ve gotten her to go to is a few sessions over the years. It always ends with “not for me - these people don’t know anything and they just want to make money”.
Is there anything anyone can say that might provide some clarity or direction.